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What it do, what it do? It's your boy Andre Sproul, and you're tapped into Middle of the Fence podcast. How much can you really know about someone from one interaction? A person may seem distant, impatient, or even rude, but behind that moment could be grief, financial pressure, family struggles, or a battle they haven't told anyone about. In this episode, I explore why we're so quick to judge what we can see while overlooking what we can't. And I share a personal story that proves just how much someone can hide behind a smile. Because behavior is visible, burdens usually are. Let's get into it. What it do? What it do? It's your boy Andre Sprue, and you're tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we could spend it but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. Think about the last time someone seemed impatient. Maybe they were short with you, maybe they looked distant, maybe they seemed rude, maybe they didn't smile back. How quickly did your mind decide what kind of person they were? Now here's another question. What if they had just buried someone they loved? What if they had just lost their job? What if they hadn't slept in days because their child was sick? What if they were carrying something so heavy that they barely had enough energy just to make it through the day? The truth is, we usually see behavior, but we rarely see the burden behind it. So today I want to talk about why r uh remembering the simple truth can completely change the way we treat others. Because every single person you pass today has a life you know almost nothing about. You don't see things like the family struggles, the financial pressure, the grief, the burnout, the health challenges, the sleepless nights, the relationship problems. You see maybe one minute of their day, and yet our minds naturally try to explain everything about them from that tiny snapshot. We explain other people's behavior by their personality while explaining our own behavior by our circumstances. That creates a huge empathy gap. We truly never know what everyone is going through. And that is a big premise of why this podcast was created in in the first place. And I feel like it especially, I mean, it shows up in the world, like in general, uh, because of a multitude of factors. But my first thought that jumps to is school, right? And especially because I grew up in a tough terrain setting and went to school in the affluent acres type of area. Um it was so easy to, you know, to see kids getting picked on or made fun of and all that, but never really knowing what they're going through at home, you know, because the kid that shows up to school that's always sad and down on himself, maybe their parents are going through a nasty divorce and they're having to deal with the brunt of that. Or you see someone that has a larger-than-life personality, you know, a man of the people type of energy, but on top of that, they're dealing with something very, very tragic that just happened in their life, and that's a way for them to cope with it. And again, you know, it's just whether we're quick to judge others, or um, whether we sometimes lack the empathy and gratitude to um just take a second to really think. Like, there's really we really don't understand what people have to go through on a daily basis or what they've had to go through to be where they're at now. Now, let's flip that perspective. Think about a difficult season in your own life. Maybe you were overwhelmed, stressed, grieving, exhausted, trying to keep everything together. From the outside, people may have thought, you've changed, you're distant, you don't care. But inside, you were doing your best. I think almost everyone tuning in has experienced that. And if we wanted grace during those seasons, maybe other people deserve that same grace too. I'm sharing the story for the first time, so this is an excuse. But it wasn't a laughing matter at the at the time, but my senior year of college and then graduating college. So you're talking 21 years old to 22 and a half. Uh during that time, um, I used to put up a put up a front with my peers, you know, as far as just like always smiling and being happy. Um, but behind the scenes, it was very, very difficult. It was uh during that time, uh my grandfather was going through uh his second battle with cancer, which ultimately took his life. And while everyone looked forward to coming back home for break, um I didn't look forward to it because the family home that I grew up in, um where my room used to be and all that got flooded. So when I would come home from school and be on break, I would sleep on a mattress in my living room. And that basically was where I slept for almost a year. And um, you know, also too, after graduating college, it was a similar circumstance where uh I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the in the living room. And because things were a little tight at the time, I I I got skinny in a not so good way, uh, to the point where I kind of looked sick. But I still was putting up a front that like everything was okay and fine when it really wasn't, because I was embarrassed to have to let anyone close to me let me know what I was going through. And that can be another thing of it too, is like, yeah, you truly never know what someone else is going through. But on the flip side, when we're going through a tough or very, very difficult situation, it can feel so embarrassing that we don't even want to open up to the closest of people in our in our lives to. Now, I want to make something really clear. Compassion doesn't mean accepting harmful behavior, and it never does. It doesn't mean removing healthy boundaries, it doesn't mean staying in unhealthy situations. Compassion simply means recognizing that people are often dealing with things that we'll never fully know. Point blank period. And instead of immediately reacting, pause. Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask. Instead of filling the blanks, listen. Sometimes the kindest thing we can give another person is the benefit of the doubt. I think one of the one of the biggest things that I've learned from the guests that have been on, as far as like you never know what someone has gone through. Uh, there was stuff where there's guests that I've that I knew for years or met through a mutual contact, and I never knew that they battled health-related diseases, you know, like Crohn's disease or um mental health battles, a learning disability, uh, or just having a really bad home situation, or looking at someone and you think that they grew up here their whole lives, their their whole life, but actually we're living in a different country or were born in a different country and and had to move here and and learn the language and start a whole new life. And, you know, that's just from interactions and conversations that I've had with people on the show, but also outside of the studio, this lovely setup, uh, you know, like those, like those type of conversations are encouraged as well. You know, like I like I am a sucker for finding out about people's story and what they had and what they've had to go through in order to get to where they're to where they're currently at, you know, and it really is different for everybody. And that's why it's important to not only give yourself grace, but also to give grace to others. Now, if someone disrespects you and completely damages a relationship from the actions that they've done, or they're just um a straight menace to society that you don't want to have any type of like association with, I get it. And that's understandable and that's different. But for the most part, um it's important to give grace to others um whenever you can, because you truly never know what someone is going through. And if someone feels comfortable enough to open up to you about a struggle that they're going through, then that's something to not take for granted either. One of the greatest gifts this podcast has given me, aside from you guys tuning in, is perspective. Every guest I've interviewed has reminded me that people's lives are far more complicated than what we see on the surface. And I think that's true for every person that we cross paths with. Because we'll never know every chapter of someone else's story, but we do get to choose how we respond to the page they're living today. Maybe that's what empathy really is. Not knowing someone's entire story, but still choosing kindness anyway. Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with one final thought. Behavior is visible, burdens usually aren't. Thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. As always, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, follow on your favorite platform when you're tuning in to the middle of the fence. And as always, no matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more like than we think. My name is Andre Sproul. Catch you guys next time. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. If this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast so you stay tapped in and show some love with that five-star rating. It really goes a long way so we can continue reaching more people just like yourself. And if you want to see these conversations, pull up on YouTube and check out Middle of the Fence. Appreciate you for tuning in. Time is the most valuable thing we got.