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What it do, what it do, it's your boy Andre Spruel, and you're tapped into Middle of the Fence podcast. Have you ever felt like the world was asking you to choose just one part of who you are? One identity, one belief, one side, as if the complexity of being human could fit neatly into a single box. In today's episode, we're exploring why society often pressures us to conform, why authenticity can feel uncomfortable, and why embracing every part of your story may be one of the most courageous things you can do. So wherever you're listening from, I invite you to keep an open mind, reflect on your own experiences, and ask yourself one simple question. Am I living as the person others expect me to be, or as the person I truly am? Let's get into it. What it do, what it do? It's your boy Andre Spruel, and you're tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we could spend it, but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. And if you're tuning in, I am wearing a Modroman Randy Savage shirt. So for all the WWE and Modroman fans out there, one time for the one time, whooy, let's get into it. Have you noticed how often people ask us to choose? Choose a side, choose a label, choose a belief, an identity, choose a group. And if you don't choose quickly enough, people start choosing for you. Well, one thing I've realized throughout my life is that people seem to be much more comfortable with certainty than complexity. We like simple answers, we like clear categories, we like knowing where people stand exactly. But what happens when your life doesn't fit nearly into a single box? What happens when you genuinely belong to multiple worlds? As someone who grew up black American and Argentinian, as someone who grew up in a working class neighborhood while attending private school, as someone who now works in construction, was a white-collar guy before, while also hosting middle of the fence podcast. I've spent a lot of my life existing in spaces that don't always fit together neatly. And with all that, I've come to realize that the pressure to pick a side isn't unique to me. It's something a lot of people experience, whether it's culture, religion, politics, sexual orientation, career paths, or even friend groups. Because society often asks us to simplify ourselves, but life is rarely that simple, right? One reason this happens is because human beings naturally create groups. Psychologists have studied this for decades, and research on social identity theory suggests that people naturally categorize themselves and others into groups because it helps create a sense of belonging and understanding, which is something that we all yearn for to a certain extent. And in many ways, this makes sense. For most of human history, belonging to a group increased your chances of survival. Groups provided protection, resources, connection, identity. But while groups can help us feel connected, they can also create pressure. Because once people identify with a group, they often expect everyone within that group to think similarly, to act similarly, to believe in similar things. And that's where things become complicated. Because people are rarely as simple as the categories they're placed into. So one of the first choices that I felt like I was forced to make while growing up was between the cultures that I grew up with, and that's being black and Argentinian. Because in one environment, it was accepted to be one side more versus the other. And I'm pretty sure you can guess by you know the nature of the show which which ethnicities were accepted more, uh, depending on the environments that I was in. And I've mentioned it previously, but growing up, it was like if I if I was in an urban environment, it was all right, I'm more black than Argentinian. Like that's the side that I felt like I had to choose to be accepted more. And then in the affluent acres or uh suburban type of environments, it was leading with, oh, I'm Argentinian and black, but always leading with Argentinian because I felt like that was accepted more. So it was like as a kid, it's like these are my two cultures that are part of who I am for the rest of my life. And feeling like that was the first thing that I was already having to choose. And even now to this day, when I interact with people for the first time and I tell them my ethnic background, uh, it's hard for them to uh believe the ethnicities that I that I have, which is understandable because uh if you are familiar with people that are of Argentinian uh descent, they don't look like me. So I still get asked to this day, oh, do you identify with one side more than the other? And it's like, no, like they're both equally part of who I am. And that's a takeaway with this, whether it's uh cultural or whatever it may be uh when it comes to your personal story, you don't have to choose with what you identify with one over the other. What it's really about is embracing everything that comes along with who you are, whether it's good or not so good. And it's okay to embrace multiple things that make up who you are and not feel like you have to choose just one. I've also noticed that society tends to reward certainty. Think about social media. The loudest opinions often get the most attention, the strongest statements often get the most engagement. The people who sound absolutely certain about everything often get the largest audiences. But real life usually isn't that clear. Most meaningful questions don't have simple answers, point blank. Most people don't fit perfectly into one category. Most experiences aren't completely black and white. Yet when someone expresses nuance, people often assume they're confused or indecisive or unwilling to take a stand when in reality they may simply be acknowledging complexity. Research from political psychology has shown that uncertainty often makes people uncomfortable. Many people prefer clear explanations over complicated ones, even when the complicated explanation is more accurate. And I think that's one reason society constantly pushes people towards extremes, right? Because extremes are easier to understand, nuance requires more effort. The biggest thing or reason why I feel like society wants you to pick a side is the pressure to conform, because it's more accepted and encouraged to be like everyone else. Because if you're someone that is authentic and stands on your own, uh, you're gonna find your community first and foremost by doing that, but it's less encouraged to do that because it's easier to conform to the norm and be in the quote unquote rat race and be like everyone else, because it's much easier to be that way. And as a as a child, you know, it's it's like you kind of have no choice but to conform to a certain extent because of schooling and all that. But as you go through life and garner more life experiences and whatever life has thrown at you, sometimes it's thrown the kitchen sink, sometimes it's uh thrown a lot worse your way, or sometimes it's thrown great stuff your way. But like I've like I've been on record with this show, the authenticity portion is what matters most, and it's what people are going to just connect with more in general, especially as we continue to progress in in this world, because I mean things are already kind of wonky, especially in this country of the good old US of A. And um, I really believe that we're gonna be entering into interesting times. So we're gonna see more and more people uh conforming to the norm, and how that looks like is less and less people um thinking for themselves and just finding it easier to be with everyone else instead of standing on their own and finding and attracting the like-minded people that would go along with them if they're um okay with standing on their own and being themselves. One of the biggest lessons I've learned through life is that multiple things can be true at the same time. You can appreciate tradition while still embracing change. You can be proud of where you come from, especially getting that feeling during the World Cup season, while remaining open to other perspectives. You can identify strongly with one community without rejecting another. You can hold convictions without becoming closed-minded. And the older I get, currently 30 at the time of recording, the more I realize that maturity often looks less like certainty and more like curiosity, less like choosing a side and more like understanding why different sides exist in the first place. So as I've gotten older and progressed through life, um my the way that I define identity has changed. And identity is not just your race and ethnic background. All right, I just want to be very, very clear with that. Uh, identity is also how you carry yourself when others are not watching. How do you treat others? And how do you view life and choose to operate in this world every single day? And again, it all goes hand in hand. Being authentic ties into the identity portion, feeling like, you know, like you have to choose between like you have to choose a side or not. No, like you can embrace multiple identities and all that. So when it comes to that, uh again, easier said than done, obviously, but um identity and who you are, and just being at the forefront of what it is you want to do in your life and realizing that, hey, you know, like not everyone is meant to be impacting people on like a super large scale and being a celebrity with hundreds of millions of followers, or you know, that not everyone is meant to be millionaires and billionaires and and all that, but you know, with with leading with your truest identity, you never know who you're impacting because of that. You know, whether it's a super small interaction or whether you're a content creator, business owner, right? When you really hone your identity, not only do you show up as a better version of yourself as a result, but you also impact people in a positive way. And that's what it's all about, you know, like being able to impact others in a positive way and leave your mark in this world the way that you were destined and uh designed to. So maybe the goal isn't to fit neatly into a single category. Maybe the goal isn't to make everyone comfortable, maybe the goal isn't to simplify ourselves so other people can understand us more easily. Maybe the goal is to become fully ourselves, even when that version of ourselves doesn't fit inside a single box. Because again, life is complicated, people are complicated, and maybe that's not something we should be trying to fix, right? Maybe it's something we should be learning to embrace, and if you've ever felt that pressure to choose between different parts of who you are, I'd love to hear your story. And the question that I pose for my audience for today's episode is have you ever felt like people wanted you to choose between different parts of who you are and what did that experience teach you? Again, have you ever felt like people wanted you to choose between different parts of who you are and what did that experience teach you? Let me know in the comments, shoot us a message, or just take some time to uh reflect and ponder on it. Thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. And if you like this episode and you haven't already, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and follow on YouTube at Andre Spruel or on your favorite podcast streaming platform, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, surge middle of the fence. And as always, no matter which side of the fence you grew up on, we're more like than we think. My name is Andre Spruel. Catch you guys next time.