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Let's do it. Three, two. What it do? What it do? It's your boy Andre Spruel coming to you live with episode 50 of Middle of the Fence. So for everyone that has tuned in and supported this podcast in any manner, thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart. And as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. Way back 50 episodes ago, I thought I was creating a podcast about differences, different races, different cultures, different upbringings, different experiences. But if you've listened to this show long enough, you know that that wasn't really the point. The point was really understanding. Because growing up, I often felt like I had one foot in one world and one foot in the other world. I can relate to so many different groups, different environments, different perspectives. But sometimes relating isn't the same thing as belonging. And I think a lot of people know exactly what that feels like, whether it's because of culture, race, socioeconomic background, religion, career, or simply changing as a person, right? Because a lot of people spend their lives trying to figure out where they fit in. And that's what this show became. Not just a conversation about differences, but a conversation about what connects us despite those differences. So at the time when I first launched this show, I was trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with my life because I felt like everything that I've tried up until the point of launching the show provided happiness at some points and growing lessons. But the experiences that I had never really fulfilled me or felt like I was leaving uh having purpose and being able to do something that leaves an impact on the world. And when I first started this, I was like, well, I grew up in the hood, but went to private school in one of the top 10 wealthiest counties in like the whole country. So I'm gonna make the show just about that and focusing on the socioeconomic factors and the history portion of it and all that. But the beautiful part about seeing things through and the journey is being able to adapt with the changes that come along the way. And as it and as it developed, I realized that one, there's a lot of people out there that had to have navigate two different worlds or multiple worlds at the same time in their own way. And before the show, I felt like I was one of the very few that had to do that. But then as it was put out there, I realized, oh wow, it's actually a lot more common than what I realized. And getting that first message of, oh my gosh, thank you for sharing this episode. I feel like I'm seen and and heard for the first time, uh, it really tugs at the heartstrings, you know, because when you are a content creator, which is the term that we use today, it's like, you know, yeah, of course, it feels good when people big up your work and things of that nature. But at the end of the day, if you're really about leaving an impact, the fact that you can create something that can impact people in a positive way. And especially in a world like today, which just seems like there's a lot of just darkness and negativity and heaviness because of all the factors that we're trying to navigate, not only personally, but things like uh gas prices and you know wars going on and just how expensive everything is, just in general. It's just another uh reminder, too, to uh really keep things into perspective and realize hey, don't don't overlook the simple things that you get to do or get to have that most people often overlook. And I remember the very first recording, I looked a little differently. I had like no beard. I always used to dress up a lot, and Marv used to uh joke around about that, you know. Like it's like, yeah, why are you pulling up in three P suit? Like it's a podcast show. Uh and then having my first guest ever, and and all that. I was I was so nervous that I was so focused on just asking the questions and not really focused on the conversation portion, even though it came out good. But that's but that's the beautiful part of you know, whether it's uh starting a podcast or a business or whatever endeavor in your life, it's being able to see the journey from where you started to where you're at. And I actually looked back at the very first episode, and I can't believe that I even released that, like looking back just because of how different things were with what I know now. But that's also part of it, you know, like facing the fact, hey, like I have to push past my fear of what people have to say or think, because that was the biggest reason that held me back from even launching this in the first place. And um, you know, just being able to find out more about myself and even the people that are closest to me that literally were changing my diapers and saw me being born. They're like, wow, ever since you've been putting this out, like I've been learning more about you than I thought that I that I knew. And I don't want to keep making it about me for this segment, but I'm just really, really glad that this is really touching home and resonating with a lot of people, a lot more than I could have ever uh imagined. I had no real clear, no set goal with this. It was just put it out there, keep showing up, see what I build over time and and what happens. One of the biggest lessons I've learned after 50 episodes is that people are much more alike than we think, which is what I end every episode on. And psychologists have long argued that human beings share fundamental psychological needs with things such as connection, competence, autonomy, purpose, and belonging. In fact, self-determination theory suggests that meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging are among the most important factors for long-term well-being. And honestly, that aligns with what I've seen through these conversations with the guests that I've had on so far. Because whether I've spoken with entrepreneurs, athletes, people of faith, people overcoming hardship, or people from completely different backgrounds, the themes are surprisingly always similar. And it's that people want to be understood, people want to matter, people want connection, people want purpose, and people want to feel like they belong somewhere. The details may change, but the human needs don't, and maybe that's why so many conversations on this show resonate with so many people, because underneath all the labels that society may place on us, we're dealing with many of the same struggles. And I've also learned that some of the most important conversations that you can have are the ones that people avoid. Conversations around things like loneliness, identity, self-doubt, feeling misunderstood, outgrowing old environments, changing friendships, growing pains. These aren't always comfortable conversations to have, but they're real conversations. And research has also shown that social connection plays a major role in emotional well-being and self-esteem. And at the same time, many people feel disconnected even when surrounded by others. Let me know in the comments if you can relate to that. And I think that's because belonging isn't just proximity, it's feeling seen, feeling accepted, feeling understood. And that's a lot harder to find than people realize. What people don't see is the behind the scenes. So, I mean, if you follow Middle of the Fence on Instagram, then you do get the behind the fence Fridays posts just saying. But outside of that, you know, it's been a lot of early mornings and late nights, sacrificing sleep, sacrificing social outings, and just a lot to do it. It's another full-time job. And as the podcast grows, I'll be able to, you know, get some people to edit the videos for me, to post the clips and have a super and even have an even bigger production, you know. But uh, all jokes aside, there was a lot that I had to overcome. And the biggest thing is that I had to grow into being the person I needed to become in order to even start to launch this. And I touched on it previously, where one thing that really held me back was being scared of what people thought, especially people that I went to school with, people that grew up with me, and people that knew me personally. I was so scared of what people had to say or think. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if that's something that holds you back. That doesn't matter because people have too much going on in their own world to care about what you're going through. And that's just the honest truth because again, over 50 episodes, we had to keep it raw and authentic on the middle of the fence here. And another thing that I had to that I had to undergo prior to reaching this milestone is just the loneliness of the growth and evolution that needed to happen, right? And I've touched on it on previous episodes leading up to this point, but I think that that was the most critical point. Looking at myself, looking at the stuff that I had to endure and overcome with my personal journey, and recognizing that, you know, I'm I wasn't the only one. And uh when it comes to that loneliness side of things, it's like, yeah, you know, you can be in your feels sometimes, and uh, you know, not wanting to open up to everyone about what you're going through and all that, but I feel like it was an essential part of my journey as well. And honestly, the pressure to be the bridge always existed because whatever environment that I grew up in, I felt like I had to be a representation because I was mostly always an outsider in any in uh in any environment that I was in. So the pressure to be the bridge, to be the representation of like, hey, if I'm in a prior primarily affluent acre setting, I'm the representation of what it looks like that, hey, you know, yes, I am black and Argentinian. My race and ethnic and ethnic background is different, but I'm a good representation. And vice versa. If I was in a tough terrain or urban environment, reflecting that, hey, yes, you know, I'm not gonna hide the fact that I go to that I went to private school, I speak the way that I do, I dress the way that that I that I do, and I'm going to represent that because I work hard to reach that point. This might be the biggest lesson of all. When I started this show, I think I believed belonging was something that you found, whether it was a place, a community, a group, a culture, somewhere you finally fit. But today I see it differently. Because if you're constantly adjusting who you are to earn acceptance, you'll never fully feel at home anywhere. You'll always feel like you're performing or putting on an act, always adapting, always managing impressions, always trying to fit, and that can get really exhausting. And what I've also learned is that belonging starts much earlier. It starts with self-acceptance, because when you become comfortable with who you are, you stop needing every room to validate you. And that's when real connection becomes possible. Not because everyone accepts you, but because you're finally showing everyone the real version of yourself and who you are. The biggest thing from the 50 episodes is the idea of identity. And growing up, I always felt like I had to tone down or turn up my personality and change the things that I would say. Um, and obviously, you know, if you if you're in like an environment where acting out is not encouraged, then don't do that, obviously. You know, you gotta protect yourself and your brand at the end of the day. But identity really comes down to what you define it and what you want it to be. And it sounds simple and cliche and big on my cliches, but it's uh, you know, it really is what you define it. But again, like the biggest thing that I can say is whatever you have to do to get to the point where you can get to that self-understanding, shedding a light on past traumas that you realize or may not realize, uh, realizing the quality of the relationships that you have around you with family, friends, uh, romantic partners, coworkers, and things of that nature, all those things matter and contribute to your identity as well. And for all those out there, here's a letter to the person who feels stuck between worlds. If you ever felt like you don't fully fit in anywhere, this part is for you. Maybe you spent your life adapting, learning how to navigate different rooms, different cultures, different expectations and different versions of yourself. And maybe people see you one way, but internally you feel something different. Maybe you spent years trying to find where you belong exactly, and trying to find your people, trying to find your place, trying to find certainty. And if that's you, I want you to know something you're not alone because after fifty episodes, after countless conversations, after hearing stories from people with completely different backgrounds, I've realized something. A lot more people feel this way than we think. A lot more people are searching than they admit. A lot more people are trying to figure themselves out than they let on. The goal isn't to fit into every room, the goal isn't to be accepted by everyone, the goal isn't to have all the answers. The goal is to become comfortable enough with yourself that you don't lose yourself trying to belong. Because belonging doesn't start when everyone understands you. Belonging starts when you understand yourself. And maybe that's the lesson I've been learning all along. Not just through this podcast, but through life. So trust me when I say wherever you are on your journey, keep going, keep growing, keep becoming, and keep showing up as yourself. Because the people who are meant for you will recognize you and they'll meet you there. And after 50 episodes, if there's one thing I know for sure, it's this. No matter which side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. If this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast so you stay tapped in and show some love with that five star rating. It really goes a long way so we can continue reaching more people just like yourself. And if you want to see these conversations, pull up on YouTube and check out Middle of the Fence. Appreciate you for tuning in. Time is the most valuable thing we got.