SPEAKER_02 0:00

What it do, what it you, it's your boy Andre School, and you're tapped into the middle of the fence podcast. Today's episode is one of the realest conversations we've had on the podcast so far. I'm joined by Marlene, host of the Raw Faith Podcast, as we talk about growing up between Harlem and suburban New Jersey, as well as overcoming depression, anxiety, emotional struggles, learning disabilities, and what it truly means to heal and find purpose through faith. This conversation touches on identity, resilience, fatherhood, code switching, mental health, and learning how to embrace who you are, no matter what side of the fence you come from. If you've ever felt misunderstood, counted out, or stuck between two different worlds, I truly think this episode will resonate with you. Let's get into it. As I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it, we can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. And today we have a very special guest, Miss Marlene. Thank you for joining today's show.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Yeah, thank you so much. And uh if you're ready, we can delve into the conversation. I'm ready, I'm ready. All right, let's do it, let's do it. So, like I mentioned, you grew up in Harlem and then moved to Teaneck, uh two completely different environments to say the least. What was the biggest culture shock moment that made you realize these are two completely different worlds?

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah, so I moved to Teaneck, New Jersey. Well, we as a family moved when I was 10 years old. So I was still a babe. You know what I mean? I was still young. So, in terms of culture shock, I mean, the one thing I had mentioned to you prior was that, you know, living in New York and in Harlem specifically, um, I would see like people getting carjacked during the day while I'm walking home from school.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

You know what I mean? Like that's what it was like.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

But going to Jersey, you didn't see that. I mean, you would see other things, but not like that. You know, you would see people riding their bikes and you know, having family time and like parks and things like that. You didn't get that in Harlem, right? So definitely different. Um, but I'm forever grateful to my parents for having moved us to Jersey because I feel like I would have been a different person if I would have stayed in Harlem. No shade to Harlem, but I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Yeah, I mean, I mean, definitely. I mean, when you put it like like, you know, like that, it's just two completely different in like environments, you know. And, you know, like for me personally, you know, I was navigating both those worlds at the same time, you know, like by day and in the morning, growing up in Orange, which was, you know, not quite like Harlem, but to a certain extent, the same type of branch, you know what I mean? Uh, but then going to uh private school in the Morris County, New Jersey area, just night and day difference, one of the top ten wealthiest counties in the country from a historical perspective. So I can definitely relate to you on that. And how did growing up in both environments shape how you see the world today?

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Well, definitely living in a suburban lifestyle, I guess, um, definitely to me is more peaceful. I feel like it's brought peace. I feel like if again, if I grew up in Harlem my entire life, I'd think my just my lifestyle would be different. Like I wouldn't have the calm, the peace that I have now. I mean, like waking up to bird's trip, and although it's annoying, it's like a wonderful sense of peace that I'm able to get. So I think having that peace and mental clarity, just living in a in a calmer place where you don't have to hear trains or people yelling about, I don't know, Section 8 or any of those kind of kind of things. You know what I mean? Like that to me is shaped my lifestyle because I feel so privileged. I feel so privileged, and I am again, I'm thankful for my parents for making that change for the family.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

So yeah, and great insight with that. And one thing that I think of because I now live in a suburban type of area and have been for the last five or six years. So one of the things that I didn't notice just because I was just so used to it was I hear police sirens far less now. Right like I ever had before. You know what I mean? So it's just like something like that that you don't realize because it's just so ingrained in your environment that you don't even think twice about it, right? Like growing up in like the hood, I heard police sirens every single day. Yeah, and then when you move out of that, it's just like something as small as that, even, you know, it's just like, oh my gosh, I didn't realize that that was like that's not normal. Like, you know, like wait, that actually wasn't normal to be hearing something like that, like all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, I agree. And and and I don't know why I'm wanting to say this, but I do is that I see myself becoming a Karen now. Like, and I don't know if I should say this. You might want to delete this, but I feel like sometimes I'm calling the cops on people because I'm like, you know what I mean? This is just me being so honest. It's like, who have I become? Like what? So yeah, it's bad.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Yeah, yeah. I mean, come on, you can't forget where you came from now.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

I'm like, dang, I know it's bad. Now, another like aspect of like just those two different types of environments is sometimes feeling like you have to, let's say, change who you are depending on where you're at. So, did you ever feel like you had to um adjust who you were depending on what environment that you have? Like code switch? I mean, that's like that's part of it, code switch or any type of you know, changing up mannerisms and code switching and not really.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

I actually spoke about this on my podcast episode recently where I don't know how to code switch. I feel like I'm just so neutral that I'm just me. And whoever experiences me is gonna get me, and they're usually okay with it. And if they're not, then they're not for me. But um, even like work, I work with a what a bunch of white people and they accept me for who I am most for the most part, right? But I can't code switch. I can't switch who I am. I think I'm just me.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

I actually really like that because I believe that's how it should be. Yeah. That's how it should be, you know. Like you should be able to talk and be your, you know, talk how you want and be who you are.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Um, because again, for something like work, if you show up and do the job at a high level, it shouldn't matter how you talk, you know, how you dress to a certain extent. Right. You can't be like pulling up to work like looking like crazy. Right, right. So long as you're respectful. Yeah. Um because uh growing up in the two environments that I did, code switching was just something that was just so natural. I started doing it as like a kid and even catch myself doing it now. And it's just like I feel like I have to reach even like now, like to be fully transparent, like reaching a certain type of level of you know, quote unquote success before, you know, I I feel like I can stop, you know, code switching. You know, like I definitely like who I am at my core doesn't change, but definitely, you know, I do feel like I am different in certain environments just because of being so used to doing that.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

One thing I will say is I so I did grow up around a lot of black people. I don't know if that means anything, but someone today at uh last week at church asked me what my ethnicity is. Like they couldn't tell, right? And they were like, Because you got this like rhythm to you. I'm like, what does that mean? What does that mean to me? Sometimes you just sound a little like like if you were black. I'm like, what the? Like, so so that was weird, but but I guess sometimes it's so ingrained in me that I don't realize it because I did grow up around black people, right? So sometimes the y'all will come out or the like stuff like that, but I still talk like that at work. I'll say y'all. Maybe that's not the right way to talk, but still, and I'm like, it's sometimes it comes across as if I'm southern or like if I I don't know where that comes from. So like little things like that like will happen, but not really. I'm pretty neutral.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Yeah, I mean, that's pretty interesting now.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Random fact. That's pretty interesting. Uh also, too, uh, you mentioned uh dealing with a learning uh disability and uh emotional instability growing up. What did that look like in real life for you day to day?

SPEAKER_01 8:13

That was my biggest struggle growing up. Um, I so I'm a twin. We look nothing alike, we're fraternal. And growing up, I was always the street smart and she was the book smart. So when it comes to like learning in school, it was always harder for me. And being a twin, you're always compared, right? So for me, it was the biggest struggle because I had to work that much harder to get that much further ahead. And it it it literally lasts from elementary school till college. Like I was in small classes and everything and taking time on tests and taking small buses when I was in all the way to high school not high school, um middle school. Like it was it was something that I didn't think about at the time in terms of like, hey, I'm different because I just blended in. I was like everybody else, you know, which I'm thankful for that I didn't feel different in that way. But deep down inside I knew that I felt different, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

It's like it makes sense. And something like that, you know, what big like was it a did it play a major role in like your confidence level during that time? I mean, yeah in general.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

I felt dumb. Like I just felt like I wasn't the brightest. And I remember there was a computer teacher that I had. Um, I don't know why I actually remember his name, Mr. Monserrat. I don't know why I remember his name.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Like you can remember teachers from years ago, but everyone else that's not, like, it's hard to remember.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

They feel like and he told me, he said, just read the dictionary, like pick out words and learn different words and read the newspaper, and that's how I learned to like get better at language and just communicating better and all that. From that little one bit of advice was that. I'm like, huh. But then I also had like a fifth grade teacher who really sowed seeds into me as well that was very supportive.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

So yeah, you mind you mind delving in a little more about the uh fifth grade teacher? Because uh, in previous episodes on middle of the fence, we always talk about, you know, for other guests that have been on, right? Uh with the life that they're creating for themselves and the lessons that they overcame and continue to overcome in their personal journeys. Um, you need that self-belief, obviously, but the power of having someone or people believe in you and how much more powerful that is. So do you mind sharing the role that your fifth grade teacher had with that?

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah. And the thing is, it's like I wish I could remember her name. I think it was Miss Davis. I don't remember. I don't know. But she just always believed in me. And I, because of her, always sat in the front and always wanted to learn, and she made it comfortable. You know what I mean? To want to learn instead of feeling like we were a problem or we had a disability or anything like that. She made it like, like, not like she was my friend, but we she befriended me in a in a different way than other students. So, not that I was a teacher's pet, y'all, but like it just made me feel like I was important, like I was seen, like I mattered, like there was something special about me. Not special needs, but special, if that makes sense. You know what I mean? And I think that's something that will always stick with me because when people see you in that way and they actually like see you, that hits deep. You know what I mean? That that stays with you forever because of the seeds that they're sowing into you, how they speak to you, how they treat you, all of that stuff. It matters, you know?

SPEAKER_02 11:29

So it really does. So thank you for that, for that insight, definitely. And when it comes to your journey, the one word that you use to describe it is overcomer. What did you have to overcome that people wouldn't see just by looking at you today? I mean, obviously, like you just you know touched on it, but is there like anything else that falls into that category?

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Yeah, so along with the learning disability, it was more so like I was classified as ED, was a which is emotional disorder. Like what kind of a you know what I mean, is that, but that's what it was called. And with that comes the learning disability, right? So it was it went hand in hand. And for me, it was just an unexplainable feeling of bouts of emotions. I was 10. I was young. I was actually younger than 10. I was in like second, third grade. And dealing with something like that at that young of an age, like how do you even process that? Exactly. So I'm like, what? Like, so I was labeled a lot. I was always, you know, put in a category or in a box of like, this is who she is because she's got this. It's like, no, I'm not. I'm just a kid trying to figure out my feelings, you know what I mean? But when you're that young, you you get categorized or whatever. But luckily I had the right people in my life and the right support system um to help me through that, like that teacher and guidance counselors and people that really just saw me beyond that. You know what I mean? And but those are some of the things that I that I struggled with. And I and I say that I overcame those things is because I I would not have thought that I would be even a podcast host or even being here, talking, speaking, using my voice, like what? Like that. I was always a shy person. In fourth grade, I didn't attend my graduation. I sat in a corner and they had me on video and they like pan over to me.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

You get the shy little girl seeking. I don't know, but I wish I did. I wish I did.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

But they pan over to me and I'm looking and I'm sitting at the corner and everyone else is doing their graduation. Then I'm like, this is horrible. Like, oh my God. And so that memory is ingrained in me. It's just like, you know, I was because it felt like you were being singled out, you know what I mean? Because you had an emotional thing that you were going through that you felt like, hey, I didn't want to be a part of this. I didn't, I didn't want to belong. Like I dealt with depression, anxiety, and all the things. Like at some point I was probably suicidal. Who knows? I don't remember because it was so long ago, but just a lot of those types of adversities, you know what I mean, that I've had to overcome. And I'm in a such a healthy place now that I, you know, and I and I give that all to God, you know what I mean? The good glory to God, you know what I mean? Because I have overcome and I am in such a healthy, good place that I can say, like I love my life and I love where I am.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

And that's and that's a very just and that's an awesome thing. You know what I mean? Because it's not easy for a lot of people to even people there's a lot of people that that definitely don't feel that way and can't even say that, and no disrespect to anyone like that, you know what I'm saying? Because obviously we're all we all go through our struggles and challenges and our own phases of growth and evolution, but you know, you're not able to overcome that without shedding a light on it and facing it head on, right? You know. Uh for me personally, growing like when I was a youngster, um, some of the challenges that I had, and it's again, it's it's kind of funny how I got into now having my own podcast and speaking as well, because when I was five years old, I had a really bad stuttering problem. And um I wasn't able to pronounce words that start with like a short A sound. Um, I I still have trouble with like short A sounds from time to time, so I can you know get in my head with that. But literally I was five years old and sometimes I would stutter so much, couldn't even say my name, because started with the short A. And I literally, while everyone, while all the other kids were at lunch and all that, I literally was pulled aside early to take speech classes for like 10-15 minutes. So you get it at like a time, you know what I mean? But I feel like because I was also an athlete, like that is what allowed me to, you know, push through and still make friends.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Despite that. But I honestly feel like if I didn't have that, then you know, I don't know how different my experience would have been. On top of navigating, you know, looking different than everybody else, and not coming from the same, not having the same advantages from a socioeconomic perspective as well as like my peers and all that. So, you know, we all have our we all have our stories and you know, just adversities that we have to overcome. So whether you overcame it or are still pushing through, it's possible and it can be done. So definitely.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Can I just touch on something you said that was so important is that you had to get pulled out of classrooms. I did too, and I think that's something that always at the time stuck with me. It's just that that's the part where you feel like you're different than everyone else. Because you're on display. People know that you're getting pulled out of a classroom, you know what I mean? So it's like at that point you couldn't hide it. But so that's as a kid, that's something that I always struggled with, but not anymore now. I'm over it.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

But yeah. That's good. That's good. Now let's uh now let's shed a light on the uh family side of things. Sure. So uh your father raised five daughters after your mom left. What lessons did that experience teach you about responsibility, trust, or leadership?

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Great question. Um, let's see how how I how I tackle this. So, you know, for a father to raise five women, young women.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

Girl, dad, through and through.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Girl dad through and through. Like, you know, he was will was and will always be my little hero, you know what I mean? Because he was always there and there wasn't a time where he didn't show up for us. Even though he at some point also didn't end up living in the home. This is a long story. My older sister became our guardian, kind of. Like he would live it in New York and he'd have a house for us, and we all lived alone. Crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Um, yeah, but he would always come and check on us every day, but then he would leave. So it was always like that that part of like, hey, I know he's here for us, I know he's providing for us. But then there's this level of like there's an absence there that happens, right? Of like, hey, he's not physically here all the time, like a father should. But I never looked at him as less than because he always provided. I never felt like I lacked anything, if that makes sense. So for me, you know, when it comes to leadership, I think he did a great job doing the best he could with the little that he had. You know, he he graduated. Um, he, I'm sorry, he he stopped his education at sixth grade to work because he had to. He grew up in the Dominican Republic, he had to. So he has no formal education. So for him to be able to raise five daughters on his own and to have owned a home and all these things, it's like, and this is the part that gets me emotional, is that I give him so much credit, like, so much credit to be able to do that and just live a good life.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

He always says, Don't, yeah, why is this making me emotional?

SPEAKER_01 18:15

He always said, like, don't, don't ever mourn my death celebrate it. He's like, Don't put me on the ground, put me in ashes and throw me in the sea. Like, that's literally what he says. And I'm just like, and I take that with me because I'm like, I want to live like that. You know, I want to live with no regrets. I want to live with like just being, you know what I mean? And that's kind of what he taught me. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

That's yeah, that's really powerful stuff. Shout out, shout out your dad one time for the one time. Shout out. And obviously, uh, with that, it showed trust in you and uh and your sisters. So, how did the trust he gave you shape the way you make decisions today?

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Great question. So, in terms of trust, is obviously he had to leave us home alone, five young girls alone. Like you would think we'd be having parties and this and that.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

And doing our crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Right. And we weren't like that. Like he trusted us, which allowed us to equally trust him and respect him and make sure that we weren't that type of child, you know, or children, you know what I mean? And for me, it just showed that, like, hey, I don't have to be supervised all the time. I don't have to, you know, be watched over or managed. It gave me the sense of freedom of like, hey, I know what to do because he trusts me. You know what I mean? And it's just, it's, it sounds crazy and not to be all faith-based, but you know me. Um, it ties in.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

It's called the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

I agree. It ties in. That's how I see God. It's just like he trusts us to make a dis to make our own decisions. You know what I mean? He's gonna guide us, he's gonna be there, but that's how I see my dad. And to have a earthly father and a heavenly father, you know, having similar characteristics in that way, I'm grateful and I'm thankful. So in terms of trust, yeah, fully, fully trusting. And and that made me want to do the right thing all the time.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Yeah, and I relate to that personally because I don't know if it's like a first generation immigrant type of thing, but my my mother was like that too. So um I primarily grew up with my mom and her side of the family, uh, you know, living together, multi-generational living, you know, for those that don't know, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, me, my siblings, my mom, full house. But we had enough space for everybody to live comfortably. So that was so that was good at least. You know, it's like we were all like crammed in and having to like squeeze in. I couldn't do it. No, definitely was interesting to say the least, but uh wouldn't be here without that, obviously. But one of the biggest things that uh my mom did, and just that side of the family, like and I mean my family like in general, um, they allowed us to make our own decisions and also give us that freedom to like trust us. Yeah. And I think that that played such a major role in development as well, because I would see my peers that you know, let's say that I went to you know, school with at whatever level, where the parenting was a lot more strict and all that. And obviously it's like, hey, the ones whose parents were actually like let their kids make their own uh decisions, let them fall, let them succeed and all that, they actually were able to be better off. Whereas the kids that in a way probably felt suffocated from their parents being too overbearing when their parents met well, but if they were too protective, those are the kids that would be like wilding out and having those parties when they're home alone and all that. You know, I mean, I did do that too. I'm not gonna lie. But at least my mom knew. My mom knew. Um, because she was there, like for most of them, you know what I mean? But I think that that is important, you know. Um, and again, you know, people parent their kids how how they want. I don't have children, so I can't give insights in that, you know. But I do know that when that eventually comes into my life, then Know, like that's that that's how I would want to do it. You know what I mean? Because it definitely makes a big difference. Definitely does. Now, you mentioned your faith, so the perfect time to tie in the podcast right now. So your podcast is called the Raw Faith Podcast. What does raw faith mean to you in the context of your real life experiences?

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Yeah, so that's an interesting question to answer. I think raw faith to me means that coming to God with all of your stuff. You know what I mean? Like having faith to the point where you come to God angry, you come to God upset, questioning all the things, and you're saying, Here, God have it. I don't know what to do with it. You know what I mean? And then through that level of just rawness and realness of saying, hey, this is it, then he transforms that. You know what I mean? So that's that's I don't even know why I ended up calling it raw faith, to be honest, but that's the what I think about when I think of raw faith. It's like coming to God with all your stuff, you know?

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Yeah. And did starting your podcast come from your personal journey and healing, or was it something that was always planned and in the works?

SPEAKER_01 23:06

It was definitely not not planned at all. I don't even know sometimes why I have a podcast, but I know that it's obedience. I know that God had called me to use my voice. So I said, okay, God, what does that look like? How am I gonna do it? What does it mean? He's like, Don't don't worry about it, just figure it out. And then I started getting some visions of like, okay, maybe I'll do a podcast, maybe I'll figure that out. And then things started aligning and I started meeting people and starting getting the connections. And I'm like, all right, I think this is what you want me to do. And I started doing it, and it's been fruitful ever since. So I'm like, I think this is what he wanted me to do, you know? And until he tells me otherwise, then I'm gonna keep going and being consistent. But that's how it came about. I just kept hearing like, use your voice, use your voice. I'm like, what does that mean? I just didn't know. And and it was to amplify other people's voices, and that's what I use my platform for for testimonies and sharing stories of faith and struggles and all the things. And it's not always butterflies and rainbows, you know what I'm saying? It's it's like therapy. We talk about real stuff and we really get down to how our lives were like and what God has done to transform our lives. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Yeah, and it's very, very powerful, you know, definitely. And what would you say is like well, obviously, you know firsthand from having your own podcast as well, like there's it's a lot of work that goes in behind the scenes that like people don't understand and showing up and being consistent is the hardest part with it. But what would you say so far with the journey with the podcast has been like the most rewarding part for you?

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Great question. I think the most rewarding part is when I get messages from people that I don't know, but also people that I do know that say, like, hey, I've been thinking about faith, but I just never knew. And watching your podcast has really just allowed me to see faith in a different way. And now I'm more curious. Now I want to go to church. Can you help me find a church? And then I help them and then they actually show up. Like that's rewarding because that to me is like I'm planting a seed, I'm being used as a vessel, because it's not about me at the end of the day, right? It's how am I glorifying God to get people to Him, meaning God? You know what I mean? So that to me has been so rewarding because that that's purposeful for me. That's that's where you find your purpose, you know, for me.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

Absolutely. And my, you know, for my podcast, you know, it relates to the sense of like leaving that impact, right? Of course, is it nice to get to the point of having lots of subscribers and downloads and partnership deals and all that? Of course, you know, like that's what most people strive for. You know, but the core of it is are you leaving an impact? Is it resonating with your audience and people in general? You know, and I feel the same way where it's like when you get those messages from people that you haven't heard of or interacted with in like a long time, or even people that like you don't know, you know, hey, I saw this episode and it resonated with me because of this, you know. Uh and it's hard not to feel good, you know, realizing that you're leaving an impact. Because if you're leaving an impact now, then it's gonna continue growing, and um and that's what it's all about, you know, making that impact and making a positive difference in people's lives. Absolutely. Absolutely. So with faith, what were some of your lowest moments and how did your faith actually help you get through them?

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I think my lowest moment in life has been growing up with learning and emotional disability kind of thing. I think that was always a struggle for all those years. Um, but I didn't have faith in my life during those years. I've only been a Christian officially um about 11, 12 years now. Um, and that was a decision that I made on my own, you know what I mean? To go to church and to seek faith. So I I didn't have faith back then. And I think that was my lowest. But you know, there's lows with like relationships and things like that, but I don't see those as like my lowest. I just see those as struggles, you know. But um, the second part of your question was was what?

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Well, I was gonna ask a follow-up because of that. Um, how does faith show up in your daily life today?

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Oh, I think everything that I do in my life revolves around my faith. You know, how I show up, my character, how I've been transformed and developed, and how I just interact with people, I think it shows up. And then, you know, I'm constantly like trying to read the word, I'm trying to get through the Bible in like a whole year, but it's taken me two years. Um, but just just staying consistent with getting to know God and building that relationship with God and just, you know, making sure that He's correcting me along the way because sometimes I fail. Sometimes, you know, I'm not perfect. We're human. We're human, we're 100%, 100%. Exactly. So so that's how faith shows up for me is just making sure that it's a character corrector, character corrector. I don't even know why I said that, but like correcting my character along the way because I think that's what it's all about. Faith is about trying to be more like Jesus and it's all about character.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

So yeah, and that's and that's how I tried to lead with my faith as well. You know, uh, we've spoken at length, you know, about like my faith journey and where things are currently at at the time of recording.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Right. You were on it yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

I was, I was, I was, so stay tuned for that.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Yeah, so good.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Yeah. And um, you know, that's that's what it's about. Just being a good person and and being a living example of that. Yeah, you're gonna have your days where you're frustrated, you know, leave me alone, I don't want to be bothered. Like it happens, you know, but it really is about because it's hard to be a good person, especially in the moments where that kindness is really tested, yeah, to say the least. Yeah, you know, but I always something that I always think about too is like, you know, when you're kind and lead that way, and lead by that example, you're going to impact someone in a positive way.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

And when you do the opposite and hurt someone, people don't forget that. People don't forget that. People might forget the time you held the door open for them to walk into the local gas or convenience store or you know, something along those those lines. But if you do something that isn't kind and generally hurts hurts someone, I mean, people don't forget that.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Yeah. And one of the things you just said, you said it's hard to be kind, or it's hard to be a good person, or something like that, right? And in my head, I'm thinking, like, not anymore for me. I feel like it's harder to be a bad person, to be, have hate in your heart, to be evil, to be mean, like all those things. I'm like, that's harder. It takes so much more energy out of you to be that way. I'm like, for me, I find so much peace in being happier and kinder and nicer and all those things. So I just thought that was interesting you said that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

That's really good insight. And from a professional sense, you went from executive assistant to project manager. What made you realize you were capable of more? And what did it take to actually make that shift?

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Yeah. So I originally wanted to be in law enforcement. Like originally, that's what I went to school for for criminal justice. That's what I wanted to do. What, just regular like police officer or like well, I wanted to be an FBI.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

I was like, your first type definitely seems like being an FBI team.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Ask the questions, interrogate all the things, right? But then when I graduated, there was, we were going through a what do you call it, a epidemic or what do you call that? Recession. Recession. There you go, recession. And I had to shift completely. And then I got in a car accident at that time. So I couldn't physically do anything cop related. You know what I mean? Like I would take exams and I'm like, yeah, I'm not fit for this. And long story short, God had me pivot. And then I ended up doing what I knew how to do, which was like assistant work. So I started doing assistant work because I worked that when I was 15. So then I was just like, okay, let me see what else I can do with it. Got to executive assistant level. And then from there, I had a manager who knew that I could do more, and I knew I could do more. And so I asked her, I said, How can I use what I currently have and do something different? I want to do something more and make more money. How do I get there? And she said, What about project management? I said, sign me up. Okay, like she told me how much, how much they potentially make and what they do and how I can use my current skills. And I said, Let's do this. So she allowed me to do stretch assignments and allowed me to explore, which I'm so thankful for her. And I don't know if she knows this till this day, but I'm so grateful for that pivot because I wouldn't be where I am today, work-wise and career-wise, if it wasn't for that opportunity to explore. So I'm very thankful for that. But that's how it happened. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Yeah. And I can relate, I literally took a very similar path. I was an assistant, you know, now I'm now a uh project manager. You know what I mean? But I'm in the very early, early stages of it, of it, like right now. So hopefully I can be like you one day.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

I'm eight years in now, eight years in, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

And if someone listening feels stuck between two worlds, like they don't fully belong anywhere, what would you say to them? Like what advice would you would you would you give to someone?

SPEAKER_01 32:11

It's a good question. I would say know yourself, know who you are, be in tune with who you are. And obviously, faith-based, right? So whose you are, meaning God. If you know that you're God's child, like there's nothing that that's gonna come against you that's gonna harm you. You know what I mean? That like if you're stuck between two worlds, know that God's got you. And if you believe in him, he's gonna get you out of if the if you desire to be in the suburbs, then he's gonna get you there. You know what I mean? But if you desire to stay in a hood, hey, that's okay too. You know what I mean? But he's gonna give you the strength to sustain living there, right? If it's a hardship, right? It might not be for some people. Some people like that, and that's okay. Um, but if you're, you know, between both, I would just say just know who you are and be confident who you are and show up as you, regardless of where you are in life and in what environments you're in.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

I like that. I like that. Yeah. So I mean, we talked about faith and you know, some serious stuff. So let's uh let's have a change change of pace here. So for those that so you did mention it that you have a that you have a twin. Um you said you're a twin, but look nothing alike. So what's the funniest or most surprising reaction people have when they find that out?

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Well, Marvin just had it. He was like, what? You're a twin? I'm like, yeah. He's like, there's two of you. I'm like, yeah, but not exactly like me. You know what I mean? So so it's more of that. That's the reaction that I get.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

It's like, there's two of you, what? Um, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but hopefully it's a good thing. But we look nothing alike, we're fraternal, and we our mannerisms, our characteristics, our facial features, everything is complete opposite.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

So that's yeah, that's that's such like a like uh, excuse my language, you know, but it is it's a mindfucker because we even like when you think of like twins, it's like, oh my gosh, you look exactly the same and actually do have similar mannerisms for like the most part, but like personality-wise, it's a little different.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Um so out of my, I mean, I don't have a twin, but my brother, uh, we look similar. Okay, and our personalities are very different. And growing up, um sometimes they made us wear the same exact clothes. I don't know if they did that with the closet. Oh, yeah, yeah. So like wearing the same exact outfit. So a lot of people thought that we were twins. Like literally, like, you guys are not twins, even going to like a CVS or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

Cashier is like ringing up like my mom and she's looking at me, my brother, just like we're and we're little ass kids. She's like, Are you all twins? Like, really, like because there's so many, like, so much times where we're like, no, we're not twins. I'm like, what are you like you could tell that that we're brothers, but like I don't like, I don't think we look like twins. You know what I mean? So, you know, I'm probably gonna have to put like a put like a little like picture up here so people can vote on it on on the uh on the uh social media.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

You know what I what I will say though is that when we were younger, my oldest sister would get like new sneakers, let's say like the Nikes or whatever, and my parents would get it for all of us, and we would all wear the same thing. She was furious, she hated that. She's like, what is this? She's like, I got that for me. What that was like the biggest feud growing up was us having to wear the same sneakers. She hated that. Hated it.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

That's pretty funny. So, where can people tap in with you, support your work, and follow what's next? This is your time to, you know, shout out your pod, your socials, and all that. So the floor is yours. All right.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Well, should I talk to this camera right here? Okay. Okay, okay. So you can work is yours. Thank you. I appreciate that. So you can follow the podcast at the Raw Faith Podcast, the Raw Faith Podcast. Don't forget the the because there are other podcasts named Raw Faith, and it's not me. So that's where you can find me. Subscribe to the YouTube channel, same name, um, and find me there. And if there's any anybody out there that's looking to tell a testimony, you are welcome to uh reach out to me on Instagram and be on the podcast. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

Awesome. Marlene, thank you so much for joining us today. Um definitely, I know that the audience tuning in that the that there'll be you know parts of your story that they really resonate with. So thank you for your time. And this is just another reminder no matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. Catch you guys next time. Peace.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

That was so good. That went quick. How long was that? Like 30 minutes?

SPEAKER_02 36:38

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. If this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast so you stay tapped in. And show some love with that five-star rating. It really goes a long way so we can continue reaching more people just like yourself. And if you want to see these conversations, pull up on YouTube and check out Middle of the Fence. Appreciate you for tuning in. Time is the most valuable thing we got.