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What it do, what it do. It's your boy Andre Spool, and you're tapped into Little of the Fence. Today's episode is one that hits very close to home for me because I recorded this right before turning 30 years old. And I feel like once you reach your late 20s, there's this pressure that starts creeping into your mind, telling you you're supposed to have everything figured out already. Career, money, relationships, purpose, success. And with social media constantly showing people hitting milestone after milestone, it can make you question whether or not you're behind in life. So today we're going to talk about the pressure of turning 30, comparison culture, unrealistic timelines, and why everybody's journey looks different, even if social media tries to convince us otherwise. Let's get into it. What it do, what it do? It's your boy, Andre Sproul, and you're tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. As always, thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it, but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for spending your time here with Middle of the Fence. Let's talk about something that a lot of people feel but don't always say out loud. The pressure to have your life figured out by 30. Career, money, relationships, purpose. Somewhere along the way, it feels like there's a deadline. And if you don't hit it, you're behind. And at the time of recording, I am on the verge of turning the big 3-0 and wanted to touch on this because of how much this has played with my mind and emotions throughout most of my 20s. And honestly, I think this is something that will continue to get magnified just because of the growth of social media and all that. And the pressure just doesn't come out of nowhere. It comes from things like the social media timelines, like how I mentioned. It comes from comparing your life to others, cultural expectations, and seeing highlight reels instead of real life. Because in this day and age, we're constantly exposed to people getting married, buying homes, hitting financial milestones. So naturally, you start asking yourself, am I where I'm supposed to be? So some of the biggest pressures that I felt in my early 20s was definitely coming from what I was seeing on social media. You know, and during my 20s, I wasn't exactly tracking my screen time and how much time I was spending on Instagram and Twitter and social media sites like that. But I felt like I was a failure in some aspects of my life because although I had independence, I had a job, I had a lot of my own shit. I felt like I wasn't successful because of, especially from the financial side of things, because I wasn't making six figures in my 20s. I wasn't a homeowner. I didn't have multiple streams of steady income. You know, I was thrown in the fucking ringer during my 20s, like most people are, you know? And I think that that's a way that we can reframe it because again, there's so much pressure that we feel in our 20s. And I don't know if it's just like a male thing or, you know, female thing too, you know, definitely not trying to make it about that exclusively. But I think that that definitely has a role to play with it because then that starts to leave a negative impact in other areas, right? So because I wasn't at the financial goals that I wanted to be at, it affected things like my confidence and how I viewed my self-worth. It affected my dating life because I didn't feel like, oh, who would who would want me? Because although I have really, really good qualities, you know, I'm I'm not hitting the financial goals to take care of someone on my own at this point of life. But guess what? Your 20s is all about figuring it out anyway. So just be okay with that and you know, just trust in what you have to learn and go through in order to set yourself up for what's to come. The issue is there's no universal timeline, everyone's path is different, and more importantly, most success stories don't follow a straight fucking line. Let me break this down even more simply. Your journey is your journey and unfolds how it's supposed to. So, yeah, people pivot. So, yeah, people restart, and yes, people figure things out later than expected, and that's okay. But we don't always see that part, we only see the finished product, and that's the problem with constantly comparing your journey with what you see on social media, other forms of media, and life in general. At the ripe age of 29, I was fine, I finally learned what it meant to let go of control and trust my journey unfolding exactly how it's uh supposed to. And I wish I learned that lesson much earlier in my 20s, but it just further emphasizes that your journey really is your journey because I had to go through a bunch of hurdles in my 20s, like most people do. And at 29, because of being okay with, you know, how consistent I was with showing up for myself, with the life that I that I'm intentional about creating for myself, you know, and realizing that, hey, there's certain things that I wanted to happen, you know, I wanted to have a career that looked a certain way. I wanted to live in a place that looked a certain way, you know, and I wanted to feel and I and I expected certain things that once I got them would make me feel the way that I expected to feel. But that's not always the case. And faith is something that is brought up in this podcast through myself and other guests that I've had on. And it really is about like that cliche saying, you guys know I'm all about that. Let go and let God. Because all we can do is show up and try our best each and every day. And that's where consistency comes in. Because some days you feel great, you can give 120% so you go that extra mile. Then there's certain days you feel like shit, you only got four hours of sleep, so you're so you're cranky, you know, maybe your significant other or one of your children got on your nerves as well. Uh, you got a flat tire going into work, you know, you're just having like one of those days, and you know, all you can give is 20%, let's say, you know what I mean? Um, but you just keep showing up and trying your best each and every day, and you're following your intuition along the way to know that, hey, as long as I keep showing up and trying my best each and every day, and you know, genuinely feel aligned with the path that I'm on, I am okay with trusting how things unfold because if you try to operate from the space of I'm going to control how I think my life should be versus you know how your life is actually um like uh supposed to be like, um, you know, you're gonna I feel you're gonna just feel a lot of resistance in life in general. See, cause the real pressure isn't exactly age, it's expectation. Expectations from family, expectation from society, expectations you put on yourself, and sometimes you're not even chasing what you want. You're chasing what you think your life is supposed to look like. And that's the big difference because again, sometimes you're not even chasing what you want, you're chasing what you think your life is supposed to look like. So getting real about what you think you want versus what you actually want. So what you think you want can come from things like people pleasing or thinking that, hey, by pursuing this type of endeavor, you know, it's going to make me happy and uh fulfilled. So I'm gonna keep working at it because once I get there, then I feel happy and fulfilled. You know, but getting real about what you think you want versus what you actually want. And you ask yourself, well, what do I actually want out of life? And that's where it starts. That's where it starts. What do you actually want out of life? And that's going to change because your environment is going to change, not just your physical environment, but who is involved in the environment, what you're consuming on a daily basis, and things like that. So um, again, you know, getting to that place of actually knowing what you want. And I'm not saying that, like, oh yeah, you know, like after you're done with your 20s and you're later on in life, you know exactly what you want, and this is and these are the exact steps that you need to take. No. But if you follow your heart and your intuition, you're gonna be guided. There's gonna be missteps along the way, obstacles and hurdles to overcome, good times, not so good times, but the more clear that you get on what you actually want, the more fulfilled life that you'll have, you know, and how you want your life to look like and how you structure that is up to you. You know, for me personally, I'm insane when it comes to making schedules, you know, like making weekly schedules and making sure that, hey, I'm blocking out time to do, to take this action on this day during this time. You know, that's that's how I operate because of what I actually want out of life. And that may not necessarily work for you, and that's okay. But operating your life off of what you actually want versus what you think you want will make a drastic change in the quality of your life. And I really feel that it will allow you to live a more fulfilled life as a result. Instead of asking, Am I behind? Am I moving forward? Because progress doesn't always look like milestones. Sometimes progress looks like growth, awareness, discipline, consistency, and those things compound over time. You know, I'm big about things compounding over time here if you're tuning in. So the question I pose to the audience is do you feel like you're on your own timeline or chasing someone else's? Again, do you feel like you're on your own timeline or chasing someone else's? Let me know in the comments, shoot us a message, or just take some time to ponder on it. Thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. And no matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more like than we think. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. If this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast so you stay tapped in and show some love with that five-star rating. It really goes a long way so we can continue reaching more people just like yourself. And if you want to see these conversations, pull up on YouTube and check out Middle of the Fence. Appreciate you for tuning in. Time is the most valuable thing we got.