Middle of the Fence
Welcome to Middle of the Fence, the podcast hosted by Andre Spruell that explores what it means to grow up between two different worlds.
Raised in one of New Jersey’s highest-crime areas while attending private school in one of the wealthiest counties in the country, Andre experienced firsthand the contrast between environments, perspectives, expectations, and identities. But Middle of the Fence goes beyond just one story.
This podcast dives into the experiences of people who have had to navigate different sides of life...whether socioeconomic, cultural, racial, religious, professional, or personal and the lessons, struggles, and growth that come from living between those worlds.
Through authentic solo episodes, thought-provoking interviews, and honest conversations, Middle of the Fence tackles topics such as identity, mental health, personal growth, relationships, success, social pressure, faith, culture, and self-discovery.
At its core, the podcast is about finding common ground in a divided world and reminding people that no matter what side of the fence we grew up on, we’re all more alike than we think.
New episodes every Wednesday.
Middle of the Fence
The Pressure of Representing Your Identity | Ep. 41
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Have you ever felt like you’re not just representing yourself...but everything that makes you who you are?
In this episode of Middle of the Fence, Andre Spruill dives into the emotional weight of representing your identity and how navigating multiple worlds can shape the way you think, act, and show up in different environments.
From cultural and religious identity to professional and personal expectations, this conversation explores the pressure to “get it right” and the fear of reinforcing stereotypes.
But here’s the truth, you’re not responsible for carrying everything.
This episode is a reminder that:
- You don’t have to be the perfect representation
- Your story is still powerful
- Authenticity matters more than perception
🎙️ Audience Question:
Have you ever felt pressure to represent your background, identity, or community in certain spaces—even when you just wanted to be seen as yourself?
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What it do, what it do. It's your boy Andre Spruel and you're tapped into Middle of the Fence podcast. And today's episode is about something a lot of people feel but don't always have the words for. The pressure of representing more than just yourself. Because sometimes when you walk into a room, it's not just you showing up. It's your background, your culture, your identity, everything that makes you who you are. And with that comes a certain weight, a pressure to get it right, a pressure not to mess up, a pressure to make sure you're representing well. So today we're going to unpack that, where it comes from, how it shows up, and how to navigate it without losing yourself in the process. Let's get into it. What it do, what it do? It's your boy Andre Spruel, and you are tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it, but you can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. And if you're watching this, I'm wearing a no doubt shirt. And uh speaking of, I have no doubt that you'll like this episode, uh, which is about the mental way of always representing something. Sometimes when you walk into certain rooms, it doesn't just feel like you're representing yourself, it feels like you're representing something bigger. Some examples include your neighborhood, your culture, your identity, your and your family. And depending on your life experience, that pressure can look very different. So obviously, uh, you know, with this show, you know, I've delved into my upbringing very, very often, so I won't bore you guys with that again. But the primary uh factors that influenced the way that I navigated to different worlds was through uh socioeconomic differences and through cultural differences. So also, too, psychologists describe something called minority stress, which explains the additional mental strain experienced by people from marginalized identities. This includes pressure to represent, fear of reinforcing stereotypes, and feeling hypervisible. And the key idea here is that you start to realize the way people see you in one world can be very different than how they see you in another. But navigating two worlds doesn't only show up through socioeconomic differences. So let's look at some of the other ways people navigate two different worlds. And in this episode, we're going to look at four in particular. Uh first is cultural, second, religious, third, sexual orientation, and fourth, professional versus personal identity. So let's start with the cultural side of things and how that looks like for people navigating two different worlds from that perspective. And that often comes from the children of immigrants, balancing two cultures. So for me growing up and having Argentinian grandparents that only spoke Spanish, that came in the form of going with them to doctor's appointments or whenever being out in public with them, having to translate because of the language barrier. And I'm sure there's many people that can relate to that. And also, too, when growing up around other Spanish-speaking kids, there were moments where I felt like I wasn't able to speak Spanish as fluently as them. And as a result, I felt like I wasn't doing a good job of representing my Argentinian culture, because in those moments I would start to stutter and overthink. And even though I knew exactly what I wanted to say, the words didn't exactly come out. But aside from the Argentinian and Hispanic uh cultural upbringing and that being a factor, also too, uh because of growing up uh being black as well, I felt like I had to diminish my blackness when being in predominantly white spaces, uh, just growing up. And, you know, in those, in those moments, it was not being a good representation of that side of my culture because I felt like I had to, you know, because I didn't want to reinforce a certain stereotype and wanted to make sure that I was representing that side of me as best as I possibly could. Now let's focus on the religious uh portion and how that shows up for people navigating two worlds from that perspective. So for me personally, I grew up Catholic most of my life. Uh, you know, my my family was predominantly Catholic, except for uh my grandma on my dad's side, who's Baptist, but it didn't really affect the way that I grew up in two different worlds uh dramatically. But obviously, you know, I've had a coming to God, uh coming back to God moment uh with the religious journey that I've had personally. But anyway, for other people though, uh some examples that I just think of off the bat are you know people that come from a um Muslim or Islamic background and how that can be much different compared to the societal standards that we have today. Or look at you know, people that come from like Amish type of background, you know, like it's become popular now where we have TV shows like breaking Amish and there's a new show. I can't remember what it's what it's called, but it's people that are literally uh wanting to be in the Amish uh community. So they're getting like so they they get a little trial run and then they decide if they want to commit or not. And there's very like there's a bunch of other, you know, religious sectors out there and things like that, but that is definitely another factor uh for people that have to navigate two different worlds. The third example, sexual orientation. So being one version of yourself in one environment and another somewhere else. To be honest with you guys, I personally can't relate to this one directly, but in episode 12 with my brother, Amir Spruell, uh, we delved into this. And even though it's 2026 and we're accepting more than ever of people's sexual orientations and things of that nature, uh, it's still not easy for people who have that at the forefront of the two worlds that they're navigating. And the biggest reason why, just from you know, the discussion with my brother and other people that I've interacted with uh throughout my life up until this point is when sexual orientation is at the forefront of the two worlds that you're navigating, your biggest fear is losing the people that you have the closest relationships with, your family, your friends, and other peers. So, you know, feeling like you have to live two different lives from that perspective. And when you have the courage to want to be your authentic self in whatever form that or wherever you're at, uh the risk that you run is, you know, losing the relationship with your mom, your dad, your siblings, and other people close to you. Uh so that is another way that people have to navigate two different worlds. And the fourth example is professional versus personal identity. So your work identity versus your home identity. And when it comes to this, this one is actually sneaky. This is the sneaky one because what happens is people get so enveloped in their work that it becomes that their professional identity overtakes their personal identity. And that's a problem, you know, and nothing wrong with being proud of what you do for a living. You know, I would love to see a world where everyone genuinely enjoys what they get to do for a living each and every single day, right? But once it starts to overtake your personal identity, uh, it starts, you you start to mix worlds uh together, and you can tend to lose sense of the stuff that really matters. And also from the professional and personal identity perspective, what can happen is you tend to diminish yourself in certain work environments. I think of corporate environment just because I've spent seven years in corporate America, you know, and there's people that feel like they have to water down who they truly are because they don't want to step on anyone's toes, or, you know, it can hurt their chance of getting a promotion or getting in with someone that can help advance their career even even further. So those are other examples of two different worlds that people tend to navigate in this in this lifetime. And the key idea uh with this section is many people spend their lives learning how to exist in spaces that weren't necessarily built with them in mind. And when that happens, there's often an an unspoken pressure. So let's look at the pressure to represent well. Now, when it comes to the emotional weight that can come with making sure you're representing everything that makes up who you are well. Everyone is representing multiple things. It's not just like, hey, whatever space that I go out in, I'm representing one thing and one thing only. Like, no, you there is a lot of factors that you're representing, you know, whether it's, you know, uh cultural, uh, religious, like the stuff that I mentioned, or even something, you know, that's not as serious, like your favorite sports team or something like that. You know what I mean? But um, all jokes aside, there is the emotional weight because you're representing so many different things, regardless of what space or environment that you're in. And because of that, you can feel like mistakes reflect on your whole community. You can feel the pressure to succeed, and you're trying not to re-inforce stereotypes. And the emotional weight that I carried for a lot of my life before I uh finally decided to shine a light on, you know, my trauma and, you know, like not opening up about my feelings. Uh, you know, it I wanted to, because of all the stuff that I was representing, I wanted to show up as the quote unquote perfect version. I wanted to show up as the version that I felt other people would have accepted me for instead of showing up as my truest, most authentic form. And I think that that's the case with a lot of people. And this goes regardless of the environment that you grew up. You know, whether you grew up with row homes and concrete or whether you grew up with perfectly manicured lawns and white picket fence, like, you know, this goes to everybody, you know, where it feels like the identity that, you know, that you put up because of all the things that you're representing. You know, it's like you just want to be accepted at the end of the day. When you feel like you're representing something bigger than yourself, the stakes of every interaction can feel higher. But over time, you realize something important. You learn that you can't carry everything alone. No matter how big, bad, and tough that you are, you can't carry everything alone. And you're not responsible for everyone's perception. You can only represent yourself authentically, and your story is just one story. So science shows that psychologists say the need to belong is a core human motivation. When people feel like they don't belong fully to a group, it can affect their mental health, confidence, and identity. So that's that's kind of where, you know, I feel like it can get tricky where it's just like, yeah, you're not alone, and at the end of the day, it's part of our core as human beings to want to belong to certain groups or a group in general. So because of that, when we're out in the world, we want to make sure that we're representing said groups accordingly and the ones that matter the most to you. And the key takeaway for this section is you're not required to be the perfect example of where you come from, but your story can still be powerful. So I want to leave you guys with this thought before getting to the question for today's episode. The truth is many of us are navigating multiple worlds at the same time and learning how to carry that responsibility without losing ourselves in the process. So the question that I pose for the audience today is have you ever felt the pressure to represent your background, identity, or community in certain spaces, even when you just wanted to be seen as yourself? Again, have you ever felt the pressure to represent your background, identity, or community in certain spaces, even though you just wanted to be seen as yourself? Take some time to think about that. Shoot us a message at the middle of the fence or leave a comment for that. And thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. And this is just another reminder that no matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. My name is Andre Sproul. Catch you guys next time. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. If this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast so you stay tapped in and show some love with that five star rating. It really goes a long way so we can continue reaching more people just like yourself. And if you want to see these conversations, pull up on YouTube and check out Middle of the Fence. Appreciate you for tuning in. Time is the most valuable thing we got.