Wada do wada doo, it's your boy Andre Spruel and you're tapped into Middle of the Fence Podcast. Before we get into today's episode, I've got a quick question for you. Have you ever felt like you're a different person depending on where you are? One version at work, another with family, another with friends? If that's you, you're not fake. You're navigating an identity tube of war. In today's episode, we're breaking down how to stop feeling fragmented and start becoming one solid, authentic version of yourself, no matter the room you're in. Let's get into it. What it do, what it do? It's your boy Andre Spruel, and you are tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we could spend it but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. Have you ever felt like different have you ever felt like you're different people, uh, depending on where you are? One version of you at work, another version with family, another version with new friends, another version with old friends. And sometimes you wonder which one is actually me? That's the identity tug of war. And that's going to be the primary focus for today's episode. Growing up between two worlds isn't just external, it's internal. Right? And when it comes to the identity tug of war, I feel like it's always associated strictly with race, right? Oh, how I am around certain races within the groups of people. But it takes on so many different forms, all right? It's the professional version versus the casual version of you, the ambitious version versus the relaxed version, the old you versus the new you. And if you feel like you're in that category or have been, which most of us, if not all of us, have, you're not fake. You're just adapting. We often feel the pressure to act a certain way in certain rooms, hide parts of ourselves, water ourselves down, or exaggerate certain parts just to fit in. And over time you start asking, who am I really? And I realized I wasn't fake, I was fragmented. So when I started my corporate career, it was uh 2018, fresh out of college and everything. The corporate environment that I was in was mostly black people because it was a call center. So for the two years that I worked there to start my corporate career off, I felt very comfortable. I was using a lot of slang, speaking in African American vernacular English very, very often, and uh saying certain curse words and sayings that I can only say uh among other uh people with similar uh race and ethnic background, if you know what I mean. But then that fully flipped on its head when I, you know, as I've spent the last five years of my corporate uh career and more of those traditional corporate spaces, right? So you always see those memes where it's like, uh, so where are we at with the uh budget? And internally you want to say, man, we're at 50 racks with it, but in actuality, you have to say, uh, we're actually right at 50,000 and our goal is whatever the number is, right? But being in the typical corporate environments where a young mixed race gentleman like myself with my type of background, being in a corporate space with uh that's predominantly white people and also older as well, it felt like uh everything that I learned from growing up in the private school environments, but it taking form as an adult. And obviously, the way that I talk with my friends and other black people or Spanish people is not going to be the same in those corporate type of spaces. But, you know, even though the like the code switching, which is something that's also very, very popular when it comes to this topic of identity and navigating different spaces and things like that, um, at the end of the day, it's really about getting to that aspect of your self-identity that regardless of what room that you're in, you're able to be yourself and operate as yourself. And if you feel like you're someone that shows up differently, um, just depending on the space or environment or or people that you're around, here are three steps that you can take to improve upon that, to really hone in on that self-identity, regardless of what room that you're in and regardless of what you've had to navigate in this world through your lifetime. So those three steps are awareness, alignment, and consistency, right? For all my basketball fans. Ha, mellow. Um, let's get let's get back on track. So, awareness, right? Notice the versions of you and how you operate in these different rooms or spaces or people. If you have the ability to do so and just take mental note and course correct from there, bravo, because that's not easy to do. But if you're like most people, I think one practical way that you can grow in your awareness is through journaling. You know, whether you keep a little pocket one that you just pop out and write your little notes in, or or a standard one that you go home and take your time to write in. Because if you take the time to write down for example, hey, when I'm around this friend group, I feel energized, I feel happy and just overall good. Or when I have to deal with this department at my job, it drains my energy, it chips away at my confidence and self-belief, or whatever the case may be. So awareness is the first portion. The second step, alignment. Decide which values don't change. And I feel like this is the biggest key to unlocking your self-identity. What are the values that do not change regardless of where you're at in the world? And people often refer to God and family as part of their values and things like that, and rightfully so. Those are vital. But what are the real values that you that that define who you are and what you're about? So for me, it's hard work, discipline, humility, kindness, and authenticity. Those I'm trying to shut off the camera. Those are the five factors that or just parts of my identity that don't change. Point blank, period. And that is my compass for how I operate each and every day. And that is what allows me personally to be myself in any room that I'm in, regardless of where I'm at and who's around. And the third step, consistency, slowly bringing the real you into every room. And this is important because if you're not someone that is comfortable with being yourself in public settings and and all that, and feeling like you have to change and be like a chameleon or like an animal that changes with its uh surroundings, uh, it's important to give yourself the reps to learn what it takes to have that strong sense of self-identity, um, regardless of how you grew up. And by doing that, it builds authenticity. And I am a big believer that with how things are unfolding with AI and technology, um, you know, I just I just I just feel like authenticity is going to be valued way more than ever. We can check back on this in a couple years and see how right or wrong I am. But even when I went to a concert uh towards the end of last year, there was a hundred girls that took the same picture in the same spot. I'm telling you guys. I'm telling you guys. And it was Tame Tame and Paula at the uh Barclay Center. Amazing, amazing. And all jokes aside, the goal isn't to pick a side of yourself, the goal is integration. You don't have to choose between the old you and the new you. You don't have to choose between different worlds. The real goal is to become one version of yourself that can stand confidently in all of them. That's what living in the middle of the fence is really all about. And here's a question that I have for the audience. If all the different versions of you sat in the same table, which one would be in charge? So the version of you that's around family, friends, work, personal, whatever it may be, if all the different versions of you sat at the same table, which one would be in charge? I'm really curious what you guys have to say. So please be sure to shoot me a message or leave a comment or just take some time to ponder and re and reflect on that. So thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. If you're watching us on YouTube, subscribe, comment, and like. And if you're listening on your favorite podcast streaming platform, please be sure to give us a five-star rating and also follow us so we can continue organically growing this middle of the fence family for anyone that has felt like they've had to navigate two different worlds simultaneously and are shedding who they used to be or what they've known and entering into who they are and who they're meant to become. No matter what side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. My name is Andre Spruell. Catch you guys next time.