SPEAKER_04 0:00

I stop myself every time I start getting into like that negative inner dialogue because it comes back. You know, if you grow up doing it for so long, it's like it's not just gonna go away. Yeah, you have to have that self-awareness uh of when it starts happening just subconsciously, and and and it was happening to me recently because of just challenges I just you know just going through. But I know that I worked on myself so long that I can catch myself at a at a very early stage of it and be like, all right, no, hold on. You're you're just you have to understand where you are right now, and it's it is okay. And you know, kind of like being there for myself.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

What it do, what it do. It's your boy Andre Spruel, and you are tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day, whether you're listening, watching, or both. As I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it, but can't make it back. So, as always, thank you for your time. And we have a very special guest today. Please welcome today's guest, Flo. What's good, dog? How's it going, brother? All is good. How's everything with you, man?

SPEAKER_04 1:13

I'm glad to catch up, man. Honestly, I'm glad to catch up. It's been a couple uh couple years that we haven't seen each other, but uh we've been following each other for a minute. So I was like, I see you've been doing your thing. I'm like, yeah, I'm I'm down to support.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Thank you, man. Thank you. And right back at you. Uh so I want to share a quick, quick story with how we've met. So um, you know, getting ready to create middle of the fence podcast. Uh I found this like weekly podcast group, you know, um, and I learned a lot of valuable lessons. But most of the people in that class were, you know, older white people. Like, I'm not trying to take shots, it's just what it was. Just an older crowd, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Yeah, just an older crowd, you know, that you probably wouldn't see a young fly fellow like myself that, you know what I mean? But then I see Flo walking and I'm like, all right, we're definitely gonna talk, and I'm definitely gonna see you like what's up. And then, you know, like that was like two years ago. Almost like two years ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

So, you know, just keeping up uh, you know, with each other and all that. And for those that don't know Flo, uh, he's an entrepreneur and video production specialist helping business owners build their brands through storytelling and content. He was raised in Asbury Park in Neptune, New Jersey. Shout out Jersey. Shout out Jersey. Shout out. I grew up navigating the tough terrain while early exposure to a completely different lifestyle expanded his vision of what was possible from battling anxiety and survival mode, thinking to becoming intentional about his growth and building his own business, his story is about transformation, discipline, and becoming the man you needed growing up.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

How about that, bro? To set the tone. That was very intentional. I knew you thought that went through.

SPEAKER_04 2:54

Gotcha, dog. Yeah, nah, that was a good intro. I appreciate it, man. Gotcha. I really do. Sometimes I don't think about you know my story as much because I'm so focused on like what I do on a day-to-day basis. But um, yeah, nah. That was a good that was a very good intro. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

All right, man. So take me back to Young Flo growing up in Asbury Park, Neptune, and what did life feel like day to day in that environment?

SPEAKER_04 3:23

So growing up in uh in Asbury, it isn't what it is today. Yeah. Have you been you been down over there? Yeah, yeah. Did you go down over there to like hang out?

SPEAKER_01 3:31

It's one of my favorite beach spots to go to. It's a vibe now in the summer. It is.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

It's definitely a vibe now, but um, it wasn't always like that. It definitely wasn't always like that. Uh growing up around the the time that I was I was in the area. Um first I started off like in Neptune area. My house got burned down when I was like uh I think it was like 11, 12, so we had no choice but to move to to Asbury because that was the only option. Um but around that, around that moment was the time where it was like we had to, it was like a it's we had to start over, you know, and you know, starting over with uh limited resources, uh it was very unexpected. And uh we was just going into, I believe, I want to say we was just going into like middle school.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

And the family dynamic growing up was you, your parents, do you have siblings as well, or was it just I have a sister.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

I have um three half siblings. Um but I grew up mainly with my sister, my mother, and uh also my uncles were also a part of uh, you know, living with us as well. So, you know, growing up like that was uh it wasn't it wasn't like a regular or a normal household because of just what they wanted to do with their life and just have fun and how they wanted to spend their weekends. I I thought it was normal. I thought it was like, you know, part of like our culture to just party it up and every weekend and you know get drunk. It was just it was but it turned, it always turned into a mess. Put it like that. It always turned into a mess. So it um it opened my eyes later on in life to like made me realize like, okay, what I thought everything about growing up was normal was actually not normal, you know. And um, and they were with us through the transition when we was living uh in Neptune, and then they were with us, you know, moving over to Asbury, and then moving over to Asbury, it was still like I said, it wasn't what it is today. So I ended up graduating early from Asbury Park High School because I was like, I'm either gonna drop out or or I gotta I gotta get out of here because like even school wasn't something that I was trying to like be in, but I wasn't dumb. I was just like not trying to do the work. But um, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't easy. And uh, you know, I I did my best to stay optimistic through it all. I think that's one thing that one thing that you can't do is you you'll never be able to stop somebody who is just optimistic because they'll always be persistent.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah, I was gonna say, I heard this one saying uh from Mike Greenberg, legendary sportscaster. It costs the same to be optimistic as it does to be pessimistic. So why not be optimistic?

SPEAKER_04 6:21

It takes the same amount of energy to you know be optimistic and uh 100% agree with you, man, because I always try to made the make the best out of our situation, right? And um, you know, again, when you're when somebody's just super optimistic, they're always gonna be persevering, they're always gonna uh see things from you know the best perspective, they're always just gonna be in and trying to make again the best out of it. Absolutely. That was kind of like how I try to like always grow up and like no, I can I can do something out of this, even though it wasn't like I didn't have too much examples, but I stayed, I did stay inspired because of you know, uh uh, you know, the internet was blowing up, social media. I was like inspired by what other people were doing around that I just grew up watching. So I was like, I I think I could do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

No, absolutely. And you mentioned that, you know, there was obviously like struggles uh with growing up in that environment. Uh during the you know, childhood or like let's say teenage years portion or anything uh along like that age range. Uh would you say there's like one specific moment or one clear challenge that stands out more than the others, or is it just more so like an accumulation of all the different factors that you have to deal with at that time?

SPEAKER_04 7:40

When you grow up in such an environment that it's things are always happening. Um, you're seeing so much go on in a household. Things just compound over time. And as a like as a person, you just you want everything to be like good. So you end up growing up in like such a survival mode as like I don't wanna, I don't want to change anything over here because I need to make sure it's good. So, you know, we're good and we can make it past another day, a week, a month, whatever. And uh that made me become so like uh controlling. It made me become so like, I need to make sure that I have full control of everything that's happening because if it's not under my control, then uh you know think things can go left really quick. Cops showing up because of, you know, every time they drink, there's always there's there's always a problem, fights breaking out. Uh when we were growing up in uh in Neptune, we used to sleep in the living room and there was a curtain. The living room was pretty big, but we divided the we divided it into uh you know into our bedroom, but we slept right out there. So the parties were like right in the kitchen. The chaos was like in the living room, and we're right there in the middle of everything. So it was like it was just those, those scenarios that like, you know, that that just compounded, going back to your question, that just compounded into like building up anger and resentment and just like why being the man who I am now and seeing my nephew love him to death, I would never put him in any type of situations of like what my uncles and my family, and they're not bad people, trust me, they're not bad people. They just they just had their own. Can we curse?

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Yeah, bro. I don't know what type of podcast.

SPEAKER_04 9:28

They just had their own shit that they was going through. You know, and and I I've learned, I've learned that, you know, they people have different ways of like coping with like, I mean, can can you imagine like a family coming from a whole different country to like starting over from scratch and like the amount of pressure and you're just trying to like get away and just have fun. Like it's not an excuse, but I've learned to put myself in their shoes and like, oh, like y'all were just y'all were just scared, y'all didn't want to hold yourself accountable. Y'all didn't, oh okay, I get it. But still, you know, it's it's still fucked up what y'all did, and I I still have that resentment sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Oh, absolutely. And it's and it's understandable. And two things that stand out to me, uh, one, just going back off what you said, the environment, you know, uh just when you're when you're in that survival mode and wanting to have that control, and then as you progress in life and things actually start to get better in your life, but it's really hard to let go of that survival mindset and wanting to control everything, you know. So, and that's and like I feel like when you well not feel like when you grew up in a tough terrain environment, it's like that's just that's just part of what comes with the territory. And also, too, my family was in the same boat, coming from a different country, yeah, you know, being here for like the first time. So as a youngster, I would hold there were certain things that I will hold on to, just like you mentioned, you know, sometimes it was anger, resentment, you know, and all this stuff. How old are you? 29. Okay, you're 29. Turning turning 30, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:05

What is your first experience of life? How far back can you go back? Can you go back?

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Turning the tables on, like just have a question. I like it, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:16

How far back can you can you honestly go back to like that first experience of this is real life, this is life, like you know, youngest age that you can go back to?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Honestly, I I would go as young as like seven or eight years old, just because of uh growing up in the hood and then going to private school in Morris County, New Jersey, one of the top ten wealthiest counties throughout the country, you know, like um historically. So from that early of an age, I was able to feel and understand my family's sacrifice that they were making from a from a financial perspective to send me to those schools. And then at that age, I was already cognizant of like, oh, if I say things a certain way, I'm gonna be judged and look differently based off of the environment that I'm in or the clothes that I'm wearing. You know what I mean? So honestly, from that early of like an age, I I feel like I was able to not grasp life, but realize that, you know, there was a lot more to it. And as I've gotten older and progressed through life, you know, it's not like I didn't enjoy my childhood. I still had a great childhood. I still got to, you know, enjoy it very, very much, but from that early of like an age is when I can remember, like, all right, you know, there's there's really shit to this thing we call life.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

Yeah, yeah. Not the reason I asked that is like when I sat down and like really thought about that, my experience was very dramatic. And uh not that I'm gonna get I can't say too much of it, but it was it was just I just remember being, I don't know what age, but it was just very, very, very young age, being scared because there was just screaming, there was a fight breaking out, um like people running. And because I had because I still remember that very vividly, I think that I held on to something for a very long time that I didn't uh I didn't want to face. Uh I didn't know how to face it.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

I didn't know how to uh even process it because all that was happening at such a young age.

SPEAKER_04 13:39

Yeah, I I just didn't know. I just I really didn't know. You don't know what you don't know, right? Um and uh until later on in life, I had to, you know, I had to like take a step back and ask myself, like, why am I why am I this person? Why do I act like this? Why like you gotta at what at some point in your life you have to stop and just question why are you the way that you are? Because you didn't, you're not just like that. You're not you're not just like that for for no reason. Something, something that you probably went through, things that you've experienced, made you become a certain way that you think is normal, but to somebody else is like, or to s to to just progress in life is like you have to change a different, you know, your perspective on everything so you can get past it and not be so, you know, back then I was just egotistic. I was, you know, it just led me to a lot of a lot of things that even with woman, just I'm gonna I'm gonna be a certain way with woman and think that that was that was okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yeah, because that's what's that's what's that was that's what was shown as like being the man and things like that. And uh, you know, we will get into the definition of what being a man is in this episode. So just letting you guys know that right now, you know. And thank you for that.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that insight, definitely. Uh I wanted to uh touch on the anxiety portion a little bit, and something that you know that you've developed to help you work through it. So the anxiety that you used to have was to the point from the environment that you grew up in that uh you mentioned that sometimes you used to shake yourself to sleep because of the high level of anxiety and uh and that's real, you know what I mean? Uh so what changed for you when you found breath work?

SPEAKER_04 15:30

When I found breath work, it was it was what like kind of like the only thing because I was very against like taking meds or like I was very against even back then like seeing like a therapist.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Um what and like around like what age would you say like all this was starting to like develop or like you realized that you had to or wanted to start putting action towards it, if you can remember.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

Oh, if I could remember when I wanted to start putting action was like around uh 20 24-25. Okay. Because even teenage years, I was still going through like all that anxiety and stuff, just being always worried.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

So age 24. Age 20, 24, 25, not 2024, 2025, like last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Age, age, age. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:23

It was a very, it was like, I don't know if anybody knows about like your Saturn return, but when you do go through your Saturn return, it's like you kind of go through like an ego death and uh a very inner experience and just a very eye-opening experience. So I was just when you when you search for answers, it's like they're gonna come when you search for them. And you just have to continue to search, especially like if you really want to find out um whatever it is. And for me, I used to look on YouTube a lot, even to this day, you know, just finding motivational videos, finding what other successful people were doing, and they all talked about like the mindset, uh, breath work, um, meditation, um, uh spirituality and all these things, journaling, journaling, uh, exercising, and um just finding ways to just move energy around because energy cannot be created or destroyed. So if it's in you, it has to be moved around. And even to this day, it's like when I feel sluggish or when I feel like you know, too much is building up, it's like, all right, let me get a quick workout and I'm about to just release. Or, you know, I I literally just the other day bought a small journal, put some thoughts on paper because I haven't done that in a while. And the last time that I did it, a lot of shit came true. A lot. From like a manifestation perspective. Yeah, yeah. But uh just going back to like breath work, um, yeah, I started doing breath work around like, yeah, around that time, 25, 20, 24 to 26. I can't remember exactly, but uh and I realized, you know, when you when you're in such a panic mode, if something was to go down right now, the heart is gonna it's gonna start racing, it's gonna start, you know, all that stuff. So when you can learn to control your breath, you'll be able to control the nervous system and honestly just calm yourself down through that breath work. So I use that just that method. Uh there was another, uh I forgot his name, but um there's different techniques of uh of breath work.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

But yeah, and that's what I was gonna ask too, like if there is one technique that you can share for someone that you know may be interested or you know, have have been going through some of the stuff that you've uh delved on so far in this, in this, in uh in this episode.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

If I mean if you look on YouTube, man, there's a lot of there's a lot of different techniques because honestly, like even if I tell you my way, it it's not the only way. But just try it and not just try it for one, like one or two times, but like honestly do it intentionally until you know you start processing and understanding how it works, because uh the more that you can control it, the better you can control yourself, and having that self-control is where you start progressing and getting what you want, because again, you have you have what it takes, you just don't know how to control it yet. Especially if you're like if you have anxiety and you have like you know, whatever, it's so much emotions, it's like that's actually a good thing. It's actually a good thing. That means you are hyper-aware of everything, and that you actually care, and that you actually care, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

And all that goes back to mindfulness, you know. And I started incorporating that type of stuff, like breath work, journaling, meditating, I'd say around 2020. And it was actually before the pandemic.

SPEAKER_04 19:47

Before the pandemic.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Yeah, before the pandemic. And um, because around like that time I was still processing, you know, my very first breakup and all this stuff, like, you know, lessons that I try to learn from it and all that. But, you know, all jokes aside, that experience, uh, you know, I'm I'm grateful for it because that what that's what led me to like really want to start to make some changes in my life. And just like you said, so like when you were talking about you know, seeing certain like influencers and people that you looked up to and some of the methods that they use to be to where they're at, I did the exact same thing, bro. Where it was, I was looking up to people, I was listening to interviews, and it and if I kept hearing the same kind of thing, I'm like, okay. Because what people, you know, it's like ever of course everyone wants to be millionaires and financially like well off. Everyone talks about generational wealth, they throw that term around. But it really comes down to your habits. And I've spoken about, I've I'm well documented. I mean, Marv can uh attest to that. I'm very well documented on habits, you know what I mean? Because yeah, you know, you may not, most people are not gonna be billionaires or have a net worth that's nine figures and stuff like that. But those types of people, guess what? They're making time to do breath work, they're making time to work out, they're making time to journal, you know, it's and those are things that you can do regardless of what you have going on. And when you start to incorporate those mindful practices, you start to notice that, hey, the days where I don't do that, you know, I feel like I can't show up as the best version of myself. And you know, you really I feel like it's more difficult to navigate the days. And I'm not saying you have to have a super rigid schedule, you know what I mean? Like 20 minute, 20 minutes of like meditating and deep, deep, deep journaling session and all this stuff, you know what I mean? But but going back to what you said, doing what works for you and setting yourself up to show up as the best version of yourself each and every day, you know, because some days. You'll be able to give 120% and rock out. Then there's gonna be days. I don't feel like doing shit. But I gotta push through. You know what I mean? And that's and it all circles back to mindset as well as it's. It does.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

I've learned from even audios, I've learned from even audios that like money, money is money is just all energy. It's just all energy. It's a transfer of energy and it vibrates at the same frequency as self-love. So if you're able to give yourself the self-love that you're honestly looking for, you know, that validation from other people. If you can give enough of that to yourself and you can give it to yourself through, again, mindfulness practices and all these things, the more that you give the your your less validation you're going to look for other people to, you know, validate whatever it is that you really want to do, whatever it is you really think about.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

100%.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

And once you start operating at that high level of frequency, you start creating what it is that you really want to do. And eventually it leads to connection, it leads to people, and it leads to at some point, you know, you you do end up in a way like monetizing whatever it is around you because you know what you bring to other people and you know the value, like the value that you're you're going to bring no matter who you come across. I don't, I don't feel bad for I don't feel bad for knowing that I'm gonna put my entire intentions, 100% of good intentions into something and say, this is what it's worth. I deserve that because of I you're one, you're not gonna find nobody like me. You're not, you're just not. It's fine. You just not. Period. And two, I'm gonna make sure, and I tell this to even all my clients, I I say this. You're gonna give up on me before I'll ever give up on you. Because I know how far I'll go for somebody if if I truly believe in them, if I truly think that we can collaborate and build something great together, because that is at the end of the day of like what I really want to do. I just want to build something meaningful in life. The money's gonna come regardless. The I just I know the money's gonna come regardless. And I used to think back then, like, I, you know, we we, you know, the language that you just grow up listening all the time, oh, we don't have it, it's too expensive. Like, that language is uh is programming you to just think that, you know, there there's not enough of it. Bro, they're printing this shit in out of like thin air.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Yeah, and it just goes back to the power of of words. And, you know, through the mindfulness practices that I was talking about earlier, um, you know, I was able to finally like break through from a confidence uh perspective. That's something that I struggled with a lot. And one thing that I've realized was I was talking so negatively to my, you know, to myself without realizing it, you know. And again, the environment that you grew up in definitely plays a factor of it. But, you know, people I feel like really underestimate the power of words. And you hear all those sayings of how powerful words are, but even down to like the little things that you say and think really compound and make a difference for sure.

SPEAKER_04 25:10

People gotta be careful with that, man. People have to be careful with that because right now, man, if you if you say, and I I as you get older, I grew up being more um like just doing a lot more praying nowadays. You know, a lot more praying, especially because a lot of uh things happen in in my family that just gave me a whole new perspective of life of like, but what did it, what did it, what kind of life do you really want to live? Like, all right, yes, you know, being a billionaire is cool, but is it like is it the what quality do you want to live? How long do you do you want to wake up one day and be little freaking like chilling knowing that you're still good, you know, not have to worry about uh money, but which it's always gonna be, you know, it's always gonna be something you gotta work through. But I I stop myself every time I start getting into like that negative inner dialogue because it comes back, you know. If you grow up doing it for so long, it's like it's not just gonna go away. Yeah, you have to have that self-awareness uh of when it starts happening just subconsciously. And and and it was happening to me recently because of just challenges I just you know just going through. But I know that I worked on myself so long that I can catch myself at a at a very early stage of it and be like, all right, no, hold on. You're you're just you have to understand where you are right now, and it's it is okay. And you know, kind of like being there for myself and seeing that we can we can get through this is just is just temporary. But how you speak to yourself, what you're saying into the world, like I used to say so much like, I just why me? Like, or or I can never win, like like saying these little things is like you're you're you're valuing that to be your your experience, and it's because you're saying it, you're hearing it as well, and it's also bringing you down without you thinking about it.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

So and going back to the energy portion because you saying those things and all that, then then it gets into your nervous system and all that, and then you start to embody that, you know, definitely. And I want to switch switch gears to to your to your business side. So uh you started when you picked up a camera at 17 making music videos.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

At what point did did that shift from a skill to a real business?

SPEAKER_04 27:35

It was a real business from the start because I used to do music. I was very big in the music industry, so that's why I was doing music videos. Okay. And I bought the camera because I'm like, okay, I need to I need to market myself. I'm not gonna wait for for anybody to help me out with this. I'm gonna just I used to.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Were you like rapper, singer, songwriting time? No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_04 28:02

But um, no, yeah, no, I'm it's it was a part of my life, and I was just using that as an outlet because I didn't, I I just grew up so, you know, kind of being like very isolated from everybody, and music was my way to just tell my story, which I didn't know any, I wasn't talking to people about much of this, and I was very passionate about it. So I took it very serious. I took it very serious, and I was like, let me get a camera because I saw what social media was doing, and I was like, I used to grab friends like when I would do shows and stuff, like, yo, come with me, take this camera, record whatever you can, I'll figure something out. And I would, I would use all these clips to just build that that brand, to build that online presence. I started Dreamers Believe in Dreamers back in like 2015, and that was like my first brand that I was super, super passionate about. I still have it to this day. And uh people used to ask, like, oh, you know, I go into shows, they were like, Can you shoot me some clips? Yeah, it's gonna be$200,$300, like, yeah, of course. And then started doing music videos and then started realizing how like it wasn't uh it wasn't sustainable because you know, shooting music videos in the hood ain't really the best idea. I was I used to I used to think like, what am I doing here? But you know, I I was just I was just bro, I was just trying to get it, man. I was trying to figure something out. And it wasn't until later on where I started building businesses around in the online space. I started uh working with an international marketing company and same thing, just using um using the camera to be able to sell products and services through uh through social media. I've been I just understood how we have evolved with social media that I was like, bro, you can sell anything, you can monetize anything. Anything that right now you can sell a course for five$500. You you tell people how you did this. How did you get? People are probably wondering what exactly what's what what exactly are you using to make this happen? And people, people will buy from it, you know. So uh I've always created digital products, I've always been selling some type of uh service or you know, anything that would just be valuable, not just, you know, also you've got to be good information. Of course, but I would, and because I care so much, I'm like, I can, I'm definitely not gonna be like anybody else that just tries to scam people. I definitely will give you everything because I know if I help you win, then I win. Meaning we both, I don't make money unless you make money. So your story has to be way much bigger than mine. And that's why I would always be there for anybody that would need help with anything that I would ever do. I'd still like I'll do free webinars, I'll do free product or yeah, free products, anything that's just of value. I'm giving it out there. And that's how I build just the brand up of what I do in the online space of like, you have to give value. You want to build a brand, you have to give value. That's just how it goes. Nobody's and it's reciprocity. You have to give without expecting either. I would just give because like right now, I just shot a uh a four-video part course on on branding uh and social media stuff that like it's gonna help you guys out. And regardless, that's just another way for me to just it's like you're depositing into like your social currency bank. So that's that's really what uh I went off topic a little bit. But that's like that's what you gotta do, man. You can monetize it.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

It's what you do, it's what you're fucking passionate about, man.

SPEAKER_04 31:22

So I took the camera, I took the camera, man, and then I started doing it for a family business. Um my cousin, uh, he had a flooring business, and I was like, yo, I was like, let me let me record you real quick. Let's just throw that up on social media. We record him in the car, going to projects, and I do a lot of stuff in the construction field. Started going crazy. People were like, yo, I see you on social media that it was just blowing him up. And I used to watch a lot of vlogs. Like, I don't know if you remember like the Wiz Khalifa vlogs and like the backbell vlogs and stuff, the J. Cole vlogs, like all them stuff. I used to be hyped off of them. And I was like, people would love to see the behind the scenes of what goes into the construction field. So I was like, nobody's doing it. And then people would ask, you know, oh, they would ask my cousin, like, who does your videos? And that's how I pretty much started taking off. Yeah, and I was like, I did it for, you know, as a side hustle for a while because I'm like, do people really want me to like come in? And I doubted it for so long because I just didn't think that I don't know, it was just it, I guess it was fear. It was, I was being self-conscious about it. I just didn't have everything put together. But then until like, because all them years that I've been putting in the work with like marketing, sales, building my own digital stuff, like digital products and stuff, I'm like, fuck that. I'm about to go make some money. And first week, like, I was just like, fuck it. We're about to launch this. I remember I got a credit card approved for like for like nine, for like$9,000. It was the first time after I cleaned my credit. I used to do credit repair. I cleaned my credit. I used to clean other people's credit. Uh and then I got a credit card, and I'm like, uh, before I had anything, I didn't even have a camera, bro. I was, I mean, I had my old old one, but I didn't have a good one. I went to a couple businesses, I drove around, I called people, I understood it was just a numbers game. And then finally sat down with somebody, and in that in like in like a week, I had like somebody pay me like$8,000. And that was because I compounded so many skills back then that I was like, fuck it, we're about to roll the dice on this.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

I like that. And the word that's been coming up a lot in this episode, and I just it's it's in my heart, so I have to bring it up because I'm big on it too. Compound. Right. Because people just think, you know, compound interest. But you know, uh that's the compound aspect of life in general is something that people really take for granted. I feel like for the most part, the compound uh effect, like that book, was one of the books that changed my life. Because, you know, yeah, we've spoken about the positive stuff that, like, for example, like me with this podcast, right? The more that I am consistent and evolve and get better with it, it's gonna keep compounding and lead to positive results. But compound can also take negative results as well.

SPEAKER_04 34:19

You know, like if you're, you know, and that's why you still see people doing the same thing, digging themselves in a in a deeper hole because they're compounding themselves themselves the wrong way, the wrong direction. And they, you know, it's it's their decision until you know they want to own up to it and hold themselves accountable. But I knew that positive side is also part of it as well. So, like, that's why even you, you said you do mindfulness, like just listen to what everything that he just said. He does all these things. Not one thing is changing your life immediately, but a compound effect of everything stacked up. You can just imagine where you're gonna be at in the next three months, six months. And when you're in such a creation mode and doing things that you feel good about, your mind, your your mind is going to always um what you focus on expands. So the more inspired you are, the more you're gonna be like, oh, I got an idea for this, oh I got an idea for this. And you just start building on on ideas, on ideas, on ideas, and executing. And eventually it's like you you're here. You're somewhere where like, oh snap, like absolutely this was from a lot of good decisions I've made from first starting off with taking care of yourself. That's the same way that I just looked at it, and the same way I still look at it. I still look at it.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

I mean, this interview, like so far, is just so much gold and nuggets being being dropped. Like, if you're not tuning in, then you're really missing out for real.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

Uh so another uh aspect of the business side of things. Yeah. So you believe anything you're good at can become a business if you know how to market it. Why do most people never make that leap? Do you feel like?

SPEAKER_04 35:59

One, they don't they don't have the skill, but I believe if they have the passion enough to believe that that it works, that it can work for them, then it can work because again, energy doesn't lie. If I came here genuinely believing that, like, yo, look, I have I created something that I believe can really help you, just go help enough people first, without thinking about the money, go create those stories for somebody else, and then use that as leverage to be able to start selling and start being able to monetize. But a lot of it comes from because they just they honestly you're you're overthinking it. You think that you have to be perfect, you think that you have to have everything in order. It's just there's there's no such thing. There's never a perfect moment or a perfect time is like tomorrow, honestly, is never gonna come. And start with what you can with what you have is like that's all you can do. And if you're a good person, people like I I used to think like, what if what if nobody wanted my my services or whatever? But I'm like, okay, they pay me. What's the worst that can happen? I just give them their fucking money back. Just refund people, like take your money back. I'm sorry. I thought it was gonna work, but at least we tried, they don't lose, and you don't lose. And you still showed, you still showed yourself in a prof you still held yourself in a professional way for them to view you as like, okay, you tried it. If somebody genuinely believes in you, you know, we've all they any business owner has been through the moments where they just wanted somebody to believe in them. So, you know, if if you're if you find that person that's willing to, you know, take a chance with you, then you know, just do what's right. Just do what's right. And I've always looked at it like that. I'm like, that's the worst case scenario. The worst case scenario. They don't like anything, I give them the money back, and all right, I gotta go work a job. Like, okay, I'll find I'm gonna figure something out in the next like week or so. But I'm not scared, man. I I've been rejected so many times, I've been laughed at so many times, you know, even just doing music for so many years. I'm sure of it.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

I'm sure of it.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

That was like, that was that was a crazy time. But I bro, I didn't give a fuck, bro. I was living in not the worst conditions, but like, okay, your your family comes from a different country, they leave their family behind, they they try to make the best out of what they can here. I was like, it's a slap in the face of thinking that I'm taking a big risk by trying, you know, trying something that I believe can work compared to the risk that you know my mother and father took.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Like perspective.

SPEAKER_04 38:39

They just they took the they took there's nothing that I can do is can amount to that. You try going to another country the way that you know most of these people do. Try, just try that. And then if you make it, try making a living out of it with the conditions and the you know limited resources and stuff that bro, it was just like it's for me, I didn't give a fuck because I'm like, I have to make something out of this situation because it just it there's no re there's no way that I I got the opportunity like this one.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

There's no way just to repeat the cycles that you lived and went through.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

I was like, bro, I I'm like, there's no way, I don't care what anybody thinks, I don't care what people say, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find I'm gonna figure some shit out because I I think that I believe that my mother, she she deserves that. She deserves that.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

My father, you know, yeah, and I was just gonna say too, like building that thick skin to or just mindset, you know, part of that evolution of the growth mindset is when you reach that point of not giving a fuck, you know, because giving, you know, caring about the right things is one thing, but you know, caring too much what other people think is part of the reason that holds them back, that holds a lot of people back from doing the things that they actually want to do. You know, it was one of the things that held me back from launching this for a while, you know, because that was one of the things.

SPEAKER_04 40:02

And look how it turned out. And look how it was. What episode do you have?

SPEAKER_02 40:05

30, 37 and counting at the time of recording. You know what I mean? Congratulations, bro. Congratulations, you know.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

90% of podcasts don't make it past episode three. And then 90% of those don't make it past like episode 21 or something like that. So it's just, you know, just that's that's another reminder to, you know, just you know, just like just where I'm at and being grateful for it.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

You have to, bro, you have to, you have to have that courage at some point to say, you know, I can I can do something out of this. And even if it doesn't work out in your plan, like it's not gonna work out. It is not going to work out because you didn't want it to work out. Any business of mine that ever failed, I've had more businesses than jobs. Any of them that didn't work out is because honestly, I stopped and I went another direction. And I believe it was God's, you know, what he wanted me to do, because I also follow that. I follow what I believe in. Um and I I believe that I could make a bigger impact with everything else that I was doing. But at the end of the day, I still had the courage at every point in my life to say, okay, we can do this. We definitely can do this. And business is has always been one of those things that's like, bro, it's it's it's fun, man.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

You get to meet people, you get to connect how we connected is not literally, literally, because of preparing to launch this, that's you know, that's how that's how we met. So definitely, definitely grateful for it.

SPEAKER_04 41:37

Let me just add that prep, you said preparing to launch this. That preparation stage is the part that people aren't working on right now. I've worked my entire life preparing myself for an opportunity, not knowing if the opportunity was gonna come. But it's better to be prepared and not have an opportunity than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. So my entire life is like I just been doing that, executing, failing, preparing for the next opportunity. And I've saw that, I've repeated that cycle so many times, and even till this day, it's like I'm preparing myself for the next stage of my life. To wherever, wherever you know the universe takes me, I know that it's gonna be in the right direction because of my perspective, because of being optimistic, because of just being a good person and being prepared. And people need to focus on get yourself prepared now. So when something comes, you don't look at it as like, oh, I'm not ready for that. I can't, I can't do that yet. Well, yeah, obviously, because you haven't done anything in the past to prepare for it.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Rightfully so. Rightfully so. And so we both had experiences with our fathers that you know, let's say weren't the best. Uh so I ask you directly, what does being a man actually mean to you today? You can you can go first and then I can go.

SPEAKER_04 43:04

It's always gonna change, so follow me to this. Uh I reserve my rights. But it's it's now now what I see uh a man actually being is is somebody who it's somebody who holds himself accountable cares about cares enough about um I believe who they're serving. And when you when you are servants at a higher hour you're you're you're having that humility to like know that okay, your ego is not the one that's driving everything here. And Being being being a provider in the best way that you can be a provider for not just your loved ones, but like anybody that you come around. I think those those three things matter the most when it comes become when it comes to becoming a man or being a man. Um could we say strong, but like I would I'll just stick with those for now.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

I like that. I like that. I definitely would say like definitely in that leadership aspect, you know, that you were touching on. Uh not only being a leader for like your family and your loved ones, just like how you mentioned, but being an example for others by you know showing up with being with having that positive mindset, you know, showing that what it means to be a good person, you know, and if things don't go your way, you know, because it's life, it's up and down, you know, how do you react to that, you know, because as a man people are gonna look up to you and realize everything that you do, you know, especially when you reach the point of being a father, you know what I mean, and being a pivotal role in your family, you know what I mean? So that leader, like that leadership aspect of it, definitely I think being purpose, you know, being driven by your purpose and life mission is another thing because I we really are all put here on this earth to do something, to you know, like I I genuinely believe that. Like I genuinely do. And it's just a matter of finding your thing and getting better and better at it and allowing that to lead the way to impact people in a positive way. Um, and I think the last thing that I would say is, which ties hand in hand with the accountability portion, is not being afraid to be vulnerable. You know what I mean? Because I feel like for so many years, obviously, from the previous generation of men, it's like, I'm fine, nothing's wrong with me.

SPEAKER_02 46:25

I'm Mr. Tough Guy, you know, but it's like, no, bro, like it's real. It's real, man.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

I mean, especially in today's day and age, like we didn't have to get started, you know what I mean? Like with that, but I think showing that vulnerability and not being, you know, and I'm not saying you have to, you know, express that to every every single person that you come across, you know what I mean? But it's important to have at least one outlet or, you know, better yet, multiple outlets, to be able to be vulnerable so you're not holding it in, you know, because I feel like that's that's a common theme that I still see among you know some of my friends and just people like in general, you know what I mean? Where it's like you hold stuff in, but it's like, yo, like you don't have to fight this alone, man. You know, whatever it is that you're that you're going through, like I'm here for you, your family's here for you, you know what I mean? So like I really think that those those are those are definitely pivotal factors.

SPEAKER_04 47:25

It's hard, man. Honestly, like anybody that's telling you that it's not it's not hard, they're lying because you know, things are moving fast, things are evolving super fast. And, you know, as a man, you're just trying to find you're you're trying to find a way that can work for you, that can allow you to progress. And because of so many things out there, it's like you know, you just you get lost in like uh analysis, paralysis, um, the imposter syndrome, uh all these, all these things. And eventually, like you have to you have to one uh be make a decision. You can't be somebody that's indecisive either. Being indecisive leads. It leads you to to stay in in the same spot and living the same years 40 times. So uh there was something that you said I forgot, but uh oh being vulnerable and stuff, yeah. So like growing up in the Spanish culture, you know, everybody's machista and stuff, you know, you gotta have the girls around, you gotta have uh you gotta be manly and all these things. And I used to think that shit was cool, man. I used to think that shit was cool. I used to thought, I used to think like, bro, I would I was celibate for like I want to say like almost a year, man. And around that time is when I had to like take a step back of like, why can't I hold a relationship? I've been in and out of relationships for so long that I used to think, okay, it's them, it's not me. Some of them was them.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

It is, it is, it is a two-way street. You know, this is not a flexible masculinity podcast, but it is a two-way street sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 49:12

But uh, you know, I I also attracted that as well because of the person that I was. I wasn't ready to step into a role that and neither were they. Like nobody's prepared for any of that. But I just uh you know, I thought it was cool to always be out there and you know messing around and always have, but even even that, I was like, why, why am I like that? And you're just trying to find to feel worthy. You're trying to find somebody else to validate your worth. And I was like, I'm not, and when I started going through like, you know, doing being celibate, I was like, am I, am I, am I not a man because I'm not having sex? Like you started questioning it, but it's like you have to that stuff really puts you through things of like, well, you define what the fuck that means. You define what what it what what type of man you want to become. Are you gonna let that are you gonna let that um temptation drive you into becoming something that you know you don't feel good about? Because it's also like it look, you know, that energy exchange is is very the soul ties is uh ties is part of it.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

For those that aren't familiar, look up soul ties and uh you'll get your answer.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

Then you know, being with women that just you know they've been through a lot themselves, you just think like, you know, okay, it's that's not what I need to become a man. Um then you think of like, all right, what are some what are other what are other ways that we can mold into a person that like when you start when you start saying no to a lot of things and creating those boundaries, you start noticing what it is that what can mold you into who you want to become. And that's one thing that I had to work on. I I did a lot of fasting in my life. I just finished one last month, a seven-day water fast. Those things is like all those things are is is what helps me to like control my temptations, have self-control, um just open my awareness to seeing things of like, do I really need that? Do I am I really emotional? Am I gonna let these things really control? Like, what am I giving up? What am I giving my power to that's making me feel like uh, you know, like I have no control? And honestly, you have all the control in the world. You have all the control in your in the world. So look, you can you can be vulnerable, you can cry, you can do all that stuff. Let it out, let it out whenever you need to, however you need to, but you can't stay in that for too long either, because at the end of the day, it's like things are moving. That's just the reality of it.

SPEAKER_01 51:49

Absolutely. And with advances in technology, you know, things like things are gonna be moving at an even faster pace, you know what I mean? So it's like if you're prepared and getting yourself set up, you know, and doing everything that you need to do for like for like yourself and in general, you'll be fine. Or if not, you'll just be you'll just be playing catch-up forever. And if you're playing that catch-up game, it's just gonna be at a much quicker pace.

SPEAKER_04 52:17

Yeah, even now, like I do. I love what I do, but I'm still so involved in the learning about all this AI stuff and figuring out what problems can I solve for for businesses with you know utilizing AI and how can I how can I just put something together that it's like, you know, I come into your business and I save you time, save you money, bring you more business. Because, you know, branding, branding is something that everybody's gonna need. Your brand is the only thing that's gonna matter a couple of years from now, a couple months from now, whatever it is. That's the only shit that's gonna matter. Because if you don't, even like these big corporations, they're not putting your product on a shelf because you have better ingredients. They're putting your stuff on the shelf because people can immediately come, your audience can immediately come to that store and buy it off the shelf. So like you're having having an audience at this point and and uh at this point in the time that we live in, it's gonna be important because what influence do you have? What influence do you have? If you don't have any type of influence, then I mean, you're gonna have to you're gonna have to collaborate with people that do, but like this is like this is just what the world that we're living in.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

No, man. Absolutely. And you know, even with our conversation prior, you know, to um getting this interview set up, you know, like I and we were talking about this podcast like in general, and you know, I was like, I didn't realize it that, you know, in the with the times that we're in, you know, being right now, I'm in a position to really set myself up and be ahead. You're in the best position, bro. You're in the best position. Like in general, and I and I wasn't realizing it, you know, but again, you know, part of part of all this, like in general, you know, you can be in like the planning phase, you can be preparing and all this, but or it eventually it's to a point where you need to take action, and then when you take that action, you just figure shit out along the way. Because even if you are the most, you know, I guess best planner, if if you want to give yourself that title, there's always gonna be stuff that comes up and happens that you can't plan for.

SPEAKER_04 54:36

Yeah, man. You're you're in the best position. I tell everybody, all my clients, uh, anybody that I come across that are just doing something very unique and special, get on a podcast, create a podcast, put your face out there. And for you to be doing this, bro, like you're in the best position right now. Whatever you're doing right now, I would just say just double your efforts. Go two times harder, three times harder, bro. Because you're gonna do it regardless. And I used to think of like when I was like launching my business, I was in the beginning stage, I would always uh I was like, oh, I never want to get on YouTube. Like, it's just it's too much work. Oh, I never I don't want to get on TikTok, I don't want to get on these other platforms, I don't want to create content. Like now it's like I created a system for myself where it's like now there's uh an infinite amount of ideas and ways that I can create that can I can always stay consistent in front of an audience. Um, but you have to find what can work for you. But you're going to do, I was going to put whatever, I don't know how many videos I have. I was gonna do that regardless. Are you gonna do it in three years or are you gonna do it in the next three months? So I was like, if you even if you compound that time, a lot, a lot of things can just change for you. So I mean, that's my advice to you. Thank you. Especially because you have the courage, man. You have the platform, you have you know, your brand and what you believe in, and people connect with stuff like this stories, you know, and what and what you're doing to bring people story out and and share it, and you never know who you're helping, but you know, regardless, you're helping a lot of people without you even knowing it. Thank you, man.

SPEAKER_01 56:16

It means a lot. And you know, the storytelling aspect is that's something through the dawn of time. Storytelling is the one thing that will never go away. It never will. It it just it just it just never will. And uh so, where can people tap in with you, support your work, and follow what's next? This is your time to plug your social media or you know, just uh anything else you want to you want to share. Spotlight's yours, my man.

SPEAKER_04 56:47

No, I appreciate it for you bringing me on, man. I'm happy to be a part of this. I remember meeting you, and I'm gonna go live off topic real quick. But no, I remember meeting you, and you was telling me about you know this podcast that you wanted to launch, bro. I'm happy to be a part of it. I remember when you sent me the message, I was like, hell yeah, bro. Hell yeah. So congratulations on all your success. You guys can find me at FlowMenez on Instagram, TikTok. On YouTube, I'm on uh on YouTube, it's called Top Tier Contractors. Uh there's a lot of free value that I give on building your brand on social media, uh specifically for contractors, but you can always find some nuggets there of like, you know, something that you can use for your business. Um what else? What other platforms? No, those are the main platforms, but I got a lot of stuff coming out. I got a lot of new collaborations that I'm doing uh this year. I've got a lot of good ideas that I have as well. And stay tuned. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

I appreciate it. Flo, thank you so much for joining us today. And this episode is yet another reminder that no matter which side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time. Peace.