What it do, what it do? It's your boy Andre Spruel and you are tuning in to Middle of the Fence Podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day. Whether you're listening, watching, or both, as I like to say, time is the most valuable thing on this earth because we can spend it, but can't make it back. So as always, thank you for your time. Self-awareness is usually seen as a strength. But nobody really talks about the hidden cost that it can come with. And the key idea with self-awareness for this episode is people praising it, right? But sometimes it comes with mental weight. But when you grow up in environments where you had to read the room, self-awareness doesn't just become a skill, it becomes survival. Research from organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Urick found that 95% of people believe that they're self-aware, but only 10 to 15% actually are. So how does hyper-self-awareness develop? Great question, and I got your answer here. So it comes in the forms of reading people's energy, watching out for danger or conflict, learning body language early, and adapting to different environments. So let's quickly break down each of those. So from the reading people's energy, I don't know, I don't know about you guys, but the first thing that I think of is those people that I read people's energies instantly. Like they're just all off of like energy and vibes and all that stuff. And while some of those people do get made fun of, and in some cases rightfully so, even though I do not encourage bullying, guys. I want to be very clear on that, right? But there really is some truth to that, you know, because as I've been living the grown-up life uh nowadays, I one lesson that I've learned personally is, you know, seeing people as energies, right? Because some people, what you see is what you get. And I really respect people like that. And I like to think that I'm like that, um, and that most of my audience is like that as well. But there's also people that are really good at putting up a front or putting up a veil to disguise who they really are and their true intentions. So there is some truth to reading people's energies and watching for danger or conflict. That's something that if you grew up in a tough terrain environment, that's just second nature, right? Obviously, because there is um more violence in urban neighborhoods, it's again, it's it's it's very, very common. And growing up as a child, how that showed up for me was not being able to ride my bike around the neighborhood or even go for a walk because of my family being concerned about you know that aspect of things when it comes to danger or conflict. But, you know, as a young adolescent boy, I didn't listen all the time and when walked to get my haircuts, walked to look at some sneakers or get some McDonald's or, you know, whatever. And on a serious note, learning body language early, right? Um, when it comes to body language, I I feel like it's always talked about in like a dating sense, you know what I mean? If you're a guy trying to get at a girl, you know what I mean? They're like, oh, read read read the body language first and all that. Um, but all jokes aside, uh, reading the body language when it comes to the self-awareness uh portion is something that also comes about. And adapting to different environments, right? Which is self-explanatory. But some people develop self-awareness through therapy or reflection, right? Others develop it because their environment demanded it. And while the awareness can help you navigate the world, it can also come with a price. So I want to take a look at the mental exhaustion that can come about from the hyper-self-awareness that's developed while navigating two different worlds. And before I do, there's studies on emotional intelligence that show that people who are highly aware of emotions, their own emotions and other people's emotions, can experience greater emotional exhaustion. So that emotional exhaustion can come about from always reading the room, always analyzing conversations, always repeating interactions later. And if you still do that or have done that, let me know in the comments or shoot us a message uh on Instagram at middle of the fence. And some other factors that lead to that self-awareness exhaustion uh that I wanted to touch on. There's three in there's three factors in particular that also lead to that um self-awareness exhaustion. One, overthinking. That's that is a familiar friend to a lot of us out there, me included, you know, and as I've undergone my growth and evolution phase, you know, navigating um my childhood and teenage years and grown-up years, you know, uh from growing up in an urban environment and navigating the different environments that I've been in throughout my life, um, the overthinking portion was something that held me back a lot, just in general, you know, and I felt like it held me back from certain opportunities uh or from meeting certain people or, you know, anything along those lines. And the second example, feeling responsible for everyone's energy. This is the one that I personally feel that when it comes to that hyper self um self self-awareness portion, is that, you know, we feel like, oh, if someone is having a bad day or going through a tough time, you know, we have to be the one to be there for them and things like that. Again, which is not bad, obviously, you know, being a ray of sunshine in in someone else's life or being a positive influence in someone else's life is never a bad thing, right? But when the hyper self just comes in and just wanting to, you know, fix and uh repair everyone's problems just because of you know them not, you know, feeling or operating at like they're at their best, it can show up in that form as well. And lastly, the emotional fatigue, right? So again, that's you know, when we think of fatigue, it's always like physical or mental. But the emotional fatigue, that's real. That's real. And I personally feel I wanted to highlight that because I feel that that's something that just gets overshadowed and overlooked, you know, especially as a male growing up, a, you know, a brown male that, you know, came from the environment that I grew up in, you know, it often was looked as like a stigma, you know, to not highlight your emotions and you know, to internalize how you're feeling because I'm a man, you know, like I'm tough. I gotta, I gotta keep it going, right? So the emotional uh fatigue is also part of it. But I will say that in today's day and age, although we can all joke, joke around and laugh somewhat uh about the stuff that is currently going on in our world, um, the aspect of being able to, you know, tap into our emotions and express them through therapy, journaling, and platforms like this one is definitely something that I feel we can all see eye to eye on that is a positive of the times that we're in right now. And when you're highly self-aware, you don't just experience moments. Sometimes you analyze them while they're happening. And sometimes that awareness and sometimes that awareness makes it harder to just relax and be present. When it comes to the pressure of managing yourself in this aspect, some examples monitoring your tone, monitoring how others perceive you, and trying to avoid misunderstandings, right? So the internal pressure that comes about from being too aware of yourself and what's going on, right? These are these are some of the things that you that you think about. When it's monitoring your tone, it often comes in the form of code switching and the way you speak, you know, when you're in different environments or among different groups of people. And monitoring how others uh perceive you, at the end of the day, you know, yeah, like that that does become an aspect of it from being too like just self-aware. But as you grow and evolve, you really realize that. And I've said it on multiple episodes, you know, like what people think doesn't really matter. You know, as long as you know what your values are, you know that you're a good person, and you try your best to navigate your world just like most other people do, then that's all you that's all that you can do. And from trying to avoid misunderstandings, I feel like that comes about from people that are afraid to avoid conflict, right? And when it comes to that, again, conflict isn't always bad. It really isn't. You know, sometimes it is needed so you can get to the resolution that is uh needed at that time. So despite the challenges that I've presented throughout this whole episode so far, research constantly shows self-awareness is actually linked to some positive aspects, by the way, such as leadership ability, emotional intelligence, and better relationships. So I want to leave you guys with this before I get to the question that self-awareness is powerful. But learning when to turn that switch off can be just as important. So the question that I pose to my audience for today's episode have you ever felt like you're always analyzing everything around you? I I think I know what the answer is gonna be, but I'll ask it one more time. Have you ever felt like you're always analyzing everything around you? Take some time to think about it. Let me know in the comments, shoot us a message, and would definitely love to hear what you guys have to say with that. And thank you guys for tuning in to this episode. Uh, if you like this episode, if you're on YouTube tuning in, subscribe, comment, and like. And if you're listening on your favorite podcast streaming platform, please be sure to follow and give a five-star rating. And if you like the the posts that we, you know, like the little reels and uh and the behind the fence Fridays posts that go up on Instagram, when you share it, please be sure to tag at middle of the fence so I can see it. Because, you know, people have been telling me I've been sharing your stuff, I've been showing you love, and I haven't been able to see it all the time, you know, because I'm a very, very busy guy with my every with my day-to-day life and and with the podcast, you know. So please be sure to tag us when you when you uh share on Instagram. And as I like to leave you guys every episode, no matter which side of the fence you grew up on, we're all more alike than we think. My name is Andre Spruel. Catch you guys next time.